A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone, I really want to know how to truly forget someone. I haven't talked to her for more than two years but today I still can't forget her. Me and her never were in a relationship but we were almost there. In the past two years, I have been in a new school where I don't have much friends and social life. I focus on my study and aim to get into the university I want to go to. I met several girls who were interested in me and they were equally as good as her but somehow I don't have the motivation to have a go outside. It is like an obsession. I know this is not good at all and I frequently lie to myself and others when I was being questioned by others. I know everything has gone and never come back. I have to leave but lacking the motive to. Recently, I was struggling to whether to send my new number to her.Sometimes I kept blaming myself for my action in the past.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2013): You have one of two options here:1. You need to accept that you'll probably never see her again and that she'll probably find happiness with someone else, and you will do the same. Begin to cut her out slowly, it'll hurt like nothing you've probably ever felt before, but cut things out that remind you of her. Start thinking of someone else making you happy and go on from there.OR2. You need to review why you haven't talked to this girl in 2 YEARS and you've had feelings for her this whole time?! Then you need to fight your hardest to locate her again, call her up, visit her, text her, email, video chat, whatever and talk to her. Find out and accept if she has moved on and found someone else and be happy for her, or that she has been regretting whatever happened between the two of you just like you have been and then ask her out. If it doesn't work out you'll at least find closure or the girl of your dreams.I really hope it works out for you, literally the same thing happened to me and I thought of what could have happened if things had been done differently or if we hadn't lost contact. But I dealt with my issue and I hope you do too, there is no reason to deny yourself happiness like this... It's not good for you
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2013): very true there is no point to go round in that vicious cycle.thanks for both of you. I need to keep my eyes open
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (14 January 2013):
 I put it to you: do you REALLY want to forget her or: would you rather give her your phone number and ask her out for lunch (say)and see whether there is any possibility for moving toward a relationship?
I you do decide to pursue it, it goes without saying that she may be involved with someone else by now, or even engaged or married - or just not interested. How would you feel if that turned out to be the case? I supposed you COULD say you tried, and it didn't work, so put it behind you once and for all and move on.
If, on the other hand, you feel there is no point (or hope) in pursuing what never was, then you need to concentrate on your studies and your goal of getting into the university of your choice - that and allowing yourself to socialize with other students and perhaps go out with other young women.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, mrswaldhauser +, writes (14 January 2013):
 If you were never in a relationship then what do you feel you are actually missing? Her friendship? There must be a reason you two haven't spoken in 2 years? You must learn to let go and move on. It sounds to me like she was your first love, or at least in your eyes she will be. You need to keep your eyes open and be available to right the woman because you could be seriously missing out here. You need to take that step and move on and be ready to meet your actual soulmate, not a woman you were never actually with years ago who you don't speak to anymore. It's not healthy.
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