A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:~ASHAMED and LONELY~I have vaginismus and thick hymen, which is the primary reason, while not the only, that has presented me with minimal relationship and sexual experience. I have never experience complete penal penetration, due to the excrutiating pain, ripping and bleeding that resulted upon penal entrance, as I lost it when @ 2.5 inches penetrated.I am so very ashamed of my affliction with this condition. I want to have a normal sex life, which includes penetration...but...I don't know if this will ever happen, as I end up running due to a fear of penal penetration.I can't even use tampons, because it hurts to even get the tip to go in.I know surgery is an option, but I want to go the natural way.Are there any women who also have this condition, as I really need to know if you could share some input about how to overcome and come to bear penetration. Does the pain, ripping and bleeding ever stop?How long will it take?Males please share if you are familiar.Thank you.~HOPE~
View related questions:
hymen, sex life, tampon Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): I also went the natural way keeping in mind I had to be put under anasthesia for a pap smear but not for this. Most of it has to do with the man's knowledge and capabilities since he's the one who drives the vechile so to speak. It's no different than willing to risk your life with a nascar driver or drunk driver. Sounds you tested the water with a drunk driver since you got fear. Just make sure he passed defensive driving next time around. Its all about driving skill remeber this first.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): hi there. I had the same things and resolved with sexual intercourse with my fiancee. He was against surgery. In hindsight I glad I overcame it naturally. It a special bond for both of us. If natural is your prefence I suggest you stick to it. if I did you can since your first attempt shows some progress with 2.5 inches. Mine was in that neighborhood. I don't know how long ago your first attempt was but if it was greater than a few days the next time will be like the first time. If you do go natural make sure the guy knows and has patience and knows what he's doing. It was one of the most passionate experiences my fiance and I've shared. Neither of you will forget it. It's a lengthy process to full penetration but it is well worth it. Don't be ashamed. This is your beggining to a hot and passionate sex life. It's getting over the hurdle and once you do you're guy won't be able to keep up with you. That comes with making up for lost time. Hang in there girlie!
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 December 2010):
 I think it's apparent the "natural" way hasn't worked for you for many years, and I think the best thing to do is to go see your own person OB/GYN for assistance in this area. A simple surgery to deal with the hymen will take care of one source of the bleeding and pain, but it will not deal with the vaginissmus. As I understand it, that needs to be treated with vaginal dilators, and the process should be explained by your OB/GYN to you.
Have you ever had a gynecological exam? That's the place where you should start. Talking to a helpful OB/GYN friend is fine, but this is no substitute for a REAL exam and diagnosis by your own physician.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 Dear Op, I am not an OB/GYN and I am not so presumptuous to think that I know better than one !
I think though that maybe, like we all do, you "adapted" a bit her advice to your prefences and retained just the part of the advice you are Ok with.
First, was this a professional exam ( pelvic examination ) or just an informal conversation about this condition in general ?...
Second, she must have told you that yes, some times a thick hymen can be gradually stretched until it yields naturally. Some times, not always . Plus, if you have vaginismus, how would you go about performing the stretching ?! You'd have to take Valium or Xanax before your partner can "work " on you, and that would make it so similar to a surgical procedure, that at this point might as well.
I do not doubt you may have your own valid reasons to object to surgery, but if your reason were only your faith in Nature... alas, Nature not alwas knows best ; occasionally it needs help, that in your case is easily available.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): You poor thing! I understand if you want to go the natural way, but you are really hurting yourself at this point there is a movie with Laura Linney (Kinsey) Its all about your situation and what it took to fix the problem. Honestly it I think its done with a doctor's appointment anymore I don't think it is under general anesthesia. It is so nice with a big package. Its something you hope for. I say have the procedure and have one heck of a night celebrating!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (13 December 2010):
You are between 41 and 50 yet you are still insisting on the natural way? Havent you been failing all these years? The way you have described it seems you go through so much pain, and is it necessary to continue going through it? Sorry if you dont like it but i recommend surgery.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): ~THANK YOU CINDY~
I appreciate your input.
I have been considering surgery for the hyman situation, however after discussing my condition with an OB/GYN who's a close friend I kind of starting rethinking the hyman surgery as my OB/GYN friend indicated that that condition to can be overcome if the man knows what he's doing sexually. My OB/GYN friend wanted to ....... but for reasons I cannot share here, I declined.
Thank You Again.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (13 December 2010):
I don't think going the naturaly way is the most sensible option in your case, or even feasible.
While vaginismus has a strong psychological componenent and you might be able to overcome it by relaxation techniques or self hypnosis or any other technique your therapist might suggest you, a thick hymen is a thick hymen and it will stay thick no matter what you do. Causing you excruciating pain during your attempt at penetration, which on turn will trigger vaginismus again etc.
A visit to your gyno, and a quick incision to your hymen, under anesthesia ,of course - and voila it's done.
...............................
|
