A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ever since I started dating when I was 14 years old (I'm 21 now) I have always gotten hurt in some way. I've been cheated on several times, lied to, dumped for someone else, and the list goes on. Anyways, after my longest relationship, I became a total freak when it comes to matters of the heart. For example, there is this part of me that constantly questions my current boyfriend. I even get suspicious about rediculous things such as when he goes to bed earlier than usual. Its starting to not only affect our relationship but its driving me crazy as well. I try to tell myself that if its meant to be it'll work out but I feel so strongly about this person I could not imagine living a day without him being with me. I feel like such a freak and I don't know what to do to quit being so paranoid and obsessive. advice please? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tine  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 you know yourself that you love this guy to death so why jepordise your relationship with all this questioning..
truthfully if he has never given you a reason to doubt him or not trust him then you are very lucky.. it is easy to say that it will sort itself out but really you need to contribute too. You've been hurt in the past so i completely understand you are being cautious but if its got to the point where you actually realise yourself that you are being obsessive and paranoid how about thinking before you act???
When you feel yourself about to question him think to yourself, do you already know the answer?? If so then there is no need for the question... maybe if you were to think of a positive everytime you think of a negative, you may be able to overcome this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): ~CHILL~
Please don't take this offensively...but...how is it possible to another person to provoke you to act in such extreme? It's atypical, and it seems that it'smaking you jittery. Is it possible that your behavior could be a consequence of some sort of hormonal imbalance or oscillating sugar levels. I recommend a physical exam.
God Bless.
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A
female
reader, loveistheanswer +, writes (13 December 2010):
 You need to stop centering your life around other people. Put your confidence only in yourself and in the love you have for yourself, no longer in anyone else. Once you learn to do this with strength, you will have the confidence to love other people instead of killing love with jealousy. You will be confident, because you know that no matter what happens, with another or alone, you will be ok... because you will always have and radiate love from your heart, the love that always sustains you, the love that you have for yourself, always there to give it to others....
It's the like the song "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield... this is what she is talking about in that song... that love in your soul that can never be extinguished... make that flame your first priority, keep that flame alive, and you will be able to light up any other heart you wish...
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