A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm 16 and I'm gay. The thing is I've never been in a relationship and I feel so lonely all the time. I really want to be with someone. I'm not desperate, but one of my greatest fears is spending my life alone, and not sharing myself at least once. Like I want to know what it's like to be in a relationship and to love someone and they love you the same way. I'm just afraid that that'll never happen for me. And if it does, I'm afraid my awkwardness, self consciousness, and insecurities will get in the way. I have so much love to give but no one to give it to. And I know you can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself so that's something I'm trying to work on.
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male
reader, CASA DE FIGUEROA +, writes (5 September 2011):
Just relax, You feel lonely cause there is problaby no one gay at your school or around you, Im not gonna lie it is tough but you will come through.Your just 16 you have so many years ahead of you.As you grow up you will go to difrent places and meet new people and new lovers.Just be patient....Peace out and good luck dude.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (4 September 2011):
 At 16-17 there are some restrictions on where you can go and whether it is OK for you to consider on-line dating. It is a difficult time. But some things are possible and I will give you some suggestions below:
The USA youth talkline is 1800 246 PRIDE MON-Fri 8pm to midnight EST / 5pm to 9pm PST
The switchboard lines above may know of Gay youth groups that meet in your area.
There are GLNH phone lines in USA operated by volunteers including 1 888 843 4564
and www.glnh.org
Once you are over 18 you can consider some of the Internet Gay dating sites. But by then you may have already met friends locally through the youth groups above.
Always consider your personal safety. The world may be more enlightened now. But not everyone is on board. So take extra care if you are attempting to establish contact with an unknown stranger from a dating site. Not everyone is as they seem. Meeting people face to face and locally may be safer. And allow you to assess their behavior and their actions before you even strike up a conversation with them.
Bars too are out until you are over 18. Using fake ID is not a great idea. Better to be safe than sorry until you are over 18.
You will get very kind and good support from other people who have been where you are now. you are not alone.
In the meantime concentrate on things that will improve your self esteem.
If you are feeling especially over-whelmed then please do not suffer in silence. Whether a person is gay or straight they can still sometimes feel over-whelmed and sad and when that happens it is a good idea to speak to your Doctor. Depression when you are feeling very lonely or sad is something you should never ignore. The Doctor can assist you with this.
While www.glnh.org can assist you with all your other questions.
Best Wishes with this.
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A
female
reader, bunnyblueeyes  +, writes (4 September 2011):
 You have plenty of time to find someone who loves you. You're only sixteen, most teenagers lie about having had relationships at your age! Don't worry, you are not being left behind.
Work on you're self loving you and the rest will come.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, angeleyes0685 +, writes (4 September 2011):
I've had the same issue recently. I am 26 years old and I only had one relationship in my whole life and it started last year. I have the same self esteem issue, where I am not completely comfortable with my body, and I was really shy. I always kept to myself.
Also I wasn't completely out of the closet yet with my family, so for the longest time I was afriad to follow my heart and just went with what my family wanted. Well that never turned out since I never had a relationship before. lol.
I told myself that I just need to just be out there, and live my life they way I want to live it. So I took that leap and told most of my family that I was gay. I was still shy though, well up until I had my first relationship. I felt more comfortable in my skin, I felt free and opened.
Even though the relationship is over I will never forget what my partner did for me. I think you just need to let all the worries go. I am still looking to love someone, just like you I have a lot of love to give and I want to recieve it just the same. Your still young, be patient love will find you, just as it will find me one day.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): I see esteem is an issue like it is for me. I know it was hard for me when I first came out, but I have a wonderful fiance now who loves me. Keep your head up and repeat this saying EVERYDAY, maybe even multiple times per day: "I am worth it." :) Good luck, hon.
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