A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dont know where to start. I am married for almost 5 years (in March). Early in our relationship, of all people, our dog groomer kept sending texts to my husband saying she could groom our dog but didnt want money for it (wink wink) then emailed my husband one day saying that she wanted to meet him at our house while I was at work. She told him that she babysits somedays but could bring the kids over if she had them...I was FURIOUS! So I called him and asked what the email was all about, he was floored and said that I could IM her as him to see what else she would say. She quickly figured out it was me and has not contacted him since. Most recently, my husband was going to the bar the early part of last year with his buddy all the time. (3-4 nights) a week. Soon after, one of the bartender's started calling him..(why did she have his number)...and texting him all the time... One night she txt him to tell him that the boys were at the bar playing darts...he didnt come home until 730 the next morning. That was when I found out they had been talking almost everyday. I asked him to stop talking to her, we havent been to the bar since, and just last night she txt him (after 5 months of supposedly not talking) and says "The more I date, the more I miss our communication and the time we spent together". I happened to be on his phone using Facebook when it came through, and I showed him the text. (he was sitting next to me the whole time.) As soon as I showed him, he immediately deleted it and her number out of the phone.I have no concrete proof, but I feel he is cheating.We have been scarce on sex lately, (maybe 4 times a month, when we were first married, it was 4 times a week). He works out of town alot (was in TX for 6 months in 2009) and I dont know what to think anymore. He hasnt done anything around our house at all for a long time, probably 3-4 months, and is always quick to snap at me now.I just dont know what to do!!
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male
reader, mscard +, writes (26 January 2011):
I mean there's definitely a lot of suspicious stuff going on... You need to talk to him about it. Based on your information, my gut says he cheated on you with the dog groomer. Not sure about the barmaid, but the dog groomer seems really suspect.
A
female
reader, RealGirlNextDoor  +, writes (26 January 2011):
It may seem at first that what i'm about to say is obvious, but this is something that you need to talk to him about. Putting it as you have here is a perfect way to confront the situation. It seems as though maybe you have distanced yourself from one another and that you're not comunicating on the same level. Maybe you should ask yourself if he is angry about something, people tend to snap at others when something is going on, maybe he's got something bottled up, maybe it's the truth about what's really going on.The importante thing is to talk things through and accept whatever he has to say, it's hard and I have never lived it but I have seen these situations repetedly in my family and understand it's not an easy process to digest. You have to both be open about your feelings and not throw things at eachother in a hurtfull way, but understand eachother's feelings. Be prepared for whatever he has to say and try to get yourselves to communicate on the same level without fear of being rejected or shouted at, this is super important. Good luck with everything, and if you need someone to talk to..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): Wow! Sounds like my husband! At the bar developing relationships with barmaids! Stop doing anything at home including paying attention to me and very snappy ALL THE TIME with me. Sounds like we are married to the same type of man! Losers and Cowards!
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