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I have loved my Science teacher for years. I need to find a way to tell him (discretely).

Tagged as: Age differences, Love stories, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 April 2011) 9 Answers - (Newest, 4 April 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *omanypeoplehavethenameiwanthere writes:

just to give you a brief overview of the situation

i was in year 8, young and naive, when i started to like my science teacher. he is rather attractive, i could go on for ages, but generally charming and funny. so naturally, i started to like him. i never even tried and consistently got A* s. i really thought i loved him.

so year 9 came and went, but the feelings didn't. they grew until in year 10 (now) i really love him. ive read about the feelings going away and its all normal... but these ones are getting stronger.

i cry every night (no im not doing a sob story) because a) he doesn't know, and b) it wont happen.

he probably knows i like him, but he hasn't reacted in any way.

i really don't want him to loose his job. i was thinking of going back when i am no longer his student, and finding out then, but im scared he'll leave!

i need to find a way of telling him really discretely, but i get terrified at the thought of rejection (i've never taken it too well). i really want him to know, because it would kill me not knowing what might have been.

(no people saying 'it sick' or 'get over it' tried, tested, failed. i would get over it if i could.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011):

I have been here and actually married my science teacher. He is 20 years older than me and we have been married for 12 years. There have been some really great times and we have two beautiful girls BUT.....You need to make sure you take the time for yourself. If it is meant to be he will be there when you graduate and come back. I am now 30 and have often wondered "what did I miss out on?"

I have NEVER been on my own and SO wish I had. I married just before my 19th birthday and there are many things I wish I could have done. I love him and only want what is best for him but I am actually at the point of considering a divorce. PLEASE just take your time and REALLY think before making this decision. Don't give up your early life so easily!!!!!

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A female reader, lonelygirl11 United Kingdom +, writes (4 April 2011):

I really do understand how you feel i still feel the same and i have really tried to get over my teacher but cant i have loved him since i was 8. I have no idea where he is and i never told him how i feel. All i can say is dont tell as you will be rejected and it will only make you feel worse. Even now if i ever found my teacher i would never dream of telling him. Pm me if you wanna chat

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011):

Take my advice, I know where you're coming from. All I will say is I was in a similar situation once luckily I'd just left school....something did happen but it ended badly when half my peer group found out. Do not let the same happen to you no matter how strong your feelings are, it won't be a happy ever after ending. X

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (4 April 2011):

dirtball agony auntDefinitely read the link from maverick494. It's a great article.

If you want to tell him, you'll have to wait. It is illegal for him to do anything with you until you are 18 and out of his school for a minimum of 2 years. So, wait that time, and if you still feel this strongly, then tell him. Maybe write him a nice thank you note or something like that. I wouldn't hold out on this though.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (4 April 2011):

Please read this first before you do anything: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/crushes-on-teachers.html

Read it and don't immediately dismiss it. If you are as mature as you sound you can do that. A lot of good info and contributions are in there.

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A male reader, Dataluke United Kingdom +, writes (4 April 2011):

Dataluke agony auntYou want a plan of attack rather than retreat, ok I can do that.

Your idea about going back after you've left is good, its not too bad once your no longer his student but you may still face stigma.

If that is the case then you need to know if he will leave or not. Bring up the subject of what you're going to do once you've left and ask him what he will be doing at the same time. He will probably still be there but you never know.

But please don't just focus on him and think that you will be able to run away together once you've left school. Keep your gaze wide and open, cause trust me when I tell you, British college boys are fittttt lol

All the best, Dataluke

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011):

I know you say you've tried to get over him, but you don't go into great detail on that subject. Maybe it would be best to try and focus on that particular aspect of this situation. I don't mean to be a pesimist, but the prospect of something good coming out of this is pretty slim. So if you focus on getting over him, maybe you won't need to worry about that. Perhaps try and meet/hang out with, other guys? Ask your friends for advice on how to get over someone, also.

*Hugs* as for crying yourself to sleep every night? Go to sleep listening to happy music, or with a comedy television programme in the background. Works a treat:)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011):

Leave your teacher alone..You are a minor..Do you want him to get into trouble with the law and be labeled a paedo..You will get over your infatuation in time but if you try to ruin his life(which is what you are going to do if you succeed in tempting him), you would have ruined him, his career and his reputation....He doesnt need to know and you should not tell him..You only want to tell him cause you want him to reciprocate and that is wrong

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A female reader, justjess United Kingdom +, writes (4 April 2011):

justjess agony aunt"because it would kill me not knowing what might have been."

I can tell you what will happen... Nothing!

He is your teacher and as such he is off limits to you and you are off him. If he did do anything he would lose his job, and his respectability, and most likely his employ ability.

If you can not get over him then keep him as a nice little fantasy for yourself but no that nothing can ever happen.

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