A
female
age
41-50,
*ammie
writes:Hi, I'm a little lost as to which dirction to turn. My boyfriend lied to me. Everyday, for nearly a year. He told me that he lost his licence because he never converted his international licence to an Australian one about 1 year ago. I recently discovered through a third party that he actually lost it for drink driving, and then got caught again driving whilst disqualified and also over the limit again. He went to court twice and had nearly $2000 in fines lost his licence for a total of 3 years with a suspended sentence and several Convictions. As his irresponsible drinking habits have been a big problem in our relationship in the past he didn't want to tell me. I drive him to and from his shift work jobs every day, and to all our social engagements and I stay sober to drive everytime. I feel used. He is 35. I am 25.I am scared that there is even more things about him I don't know. We have been together 3 years. Any advice would be great. Thank you. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 Who cares what else he is hiding?
Basically you are dating a alcoholic who has absolutely no control over his addiction.
There is no other option but to get the hell out.
But you won't take it.
Enjoy the ride.
A
female
reader, dpassa  +, writes (30 June 2010):
First of all he has a drinking problem, and until he admits it, he will stay in denial. There is no future with anyone that drinks, takes drugs, or is abusive. The situation will only get worse. Just think of the future you will have with a man like this, and bringing kids into such a situation is not fair, you will find yourself a single parent. Since he has been lying for all this time, what else has he been lying about throughout your relationship, think about it. You know what is right, and what you deserve in life. But, the only person who can make a decision is you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 Hello. If his drinking problems have already caused you problems AND youve now found out hes also a liar, has convictions and a suspended sentence hanging over his head. Then my advice would be to follow the other advice here and leave him to his stupidity! You deserve someone to care for and look after you. Not be the designated driver for a drunk who lies and hides things from you. Im sure you have every reason to wonder what other things hes done and not told you about. Who would know but him... and hes definately not going to tell you...is he?! Hes 35 and way, waaaaay too old to be behaving like a wild teen. Think of yourself sweety and start afresh with someone sensible, who will really appreciate and treat you properly. Thats what a good relationship is all about. All the best x
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 June 2010):
This man has no respect for anyone. He was caught drink driving, and was banned. He then lied to you. He then went out and drove without a license and was caught over the limit AGAIN. He now has a suspended sentence and several convictions, and had to pay a huge fine. He then continued to lie. Now you're driving him to work and even to social occasions where he still drinks and you can't relax at all. You have been hugely failed by this guy, and I just don't think he's worth staying with. After all, what happens if he does it again and kills someone? I just think you can do so much better than a man who has so little respect for everyone around him and makes so many mistakes with drink. And of course on top of that, you have no idea what else he has been hiding. I just think you should end it and find a better guy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (30 June 2010):
 You need to let him know you know.
You say you stay sober to drive him, that means he is still not a responsible drinker, is he capable of remaining sober for a social event?
Do you really want to look down the next five, ten, twenty, thirty or more years driving a drunk around because he can't stay sober long enough to hold a driver's licence?
What if you get married, do you really want a drunk bride groom? Is that the way you would like to start the rest of your life together? What if you decide to have children and your kids need to get somewhere fast? Do you want a drunk to be driving them?
He is a liar and a drunk.
And now you know it. What you do with that knowledge is up to you.
...............................
|
