A
female
age
36-40,
*olly103
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, he treats me pretty bad, he relies on me for everything! I told him that I had had enough and wanted him to go! So he did but then came back and kept telling me he would change but the thing is I have really fallen for someone else who I have had a one night stand with! What do I do??????? Please help me!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): Hi dear. I'm writing to you bc i'm in the exact same situation, except the one night stand guy...in my case he's a bit more than that. My bf (who i'm on a break with at the mo) treats me like a kid in front of other people and family, doesn't respect my family, wants me all to himself, cherises his mother way more than he does me, and it's always a case of his way or the highway. He keeps on calling and texting saying that he misses me, loves me, feels lost and empty, bla bla bla...and that he'll change his ways to make the rel work again...but alot of ppl have told me that he will change for a while but then just change again. Anyways, my advice to you (which i should take myself) is to RUN AWAY from your ex and give the new guy a chance if he wants to...if he doesn't then i'm quite sure you can find love, and be happy, with someone else who loves and respects you for who you are without trying the least to change who you are. Good Luck!!! All the way from Malta x
A
female
reader, molly103 +, writes (18 August 2007):
molly103 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so very much!! it has helped me alot, im trying to move on now mr one night stand is still in the picture!! thank you all again!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): You dump the guy, but I advise you not to fall for the one night stand either. Love does not just happen in a day. It grows
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A
female
reader, ilikenight  +, writes (16 August 2007):
 I meant that after you tell him you want to break up, then do not talk to him anymore. He sounds like the kind of guy who will keep trying to get you to keep in contact with him like my ex did. If you answer his calls, email him back, etc. he wil not go away. You need to end it and leave it at that. No more contact.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (15 August 2007):
 I agree with Danielepew, ignoring him will not make him go away. Telling him in a direct way of speaking is the only way thats going to drive it home to this guy that you don't want to know anymore.
I know its hard but sometimes we have got to be cruel to be kind, tell him how it is and im sure he will soon get the message.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Nevalearn  +, writes (15 August 2007):
There are two seperate issues here so don't make them one. Firstly deal with the relationship your in (which doesn't sound to wonderful). Just because you are with someone doesn't mean you will never be attracted to anyone else ever again. These things happen, but try to deal with your current relationship and then if you move on you can deal with you second dilema, Mr One Night Stand guy. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 I think I understand that your "boyfriend" isn't really your boyfriend anymore, since you told him to go away, but he keeps insisting and says he will change.
One night is not enough to know what a person feels for you. However, it is clear you don't know your ex, so let him know, again, that you don't want to be with him.
I beg to disagree with the other poster: ignoring your ex will not make him go away. Telling him directly, with very clear words, that you are not taking him back, that will make him go away. If you want your ex coming all the time to beg you to take him, try the ignoring. If you want him to go away, do the talking.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): Hi hun . As he ever said he's going to change before, most probably so. If you take him back you will go into the same rut you had before and you will regret losing your new love. I say dump him and go for it with your new guy.Good luck sweetie x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): well, a 1 night stand isn't the best basis for a relationship. Do you know if this guy even wants to date you? Wether he does or not, you are not happy with your current b.f. and I was in your shoes about a yr. ago. My b.f. of 5 yrs. relied on me for everything, treated me horribly. I kept trying to get him to leave but he'd crawl back and be pathetic. I got pregnant with his friends baby, and even that wouldn't make him leave. But eventually I got him to go away. I am now with a nice guy. He supports me and doesn't rely on anyone for anything. It's definetly a nice change! Wether the 1 night stand guy likes you or not, you're not happy so move on. Don't talk to him anymore, just ignore him. That's the only way to make him go away.
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