A
female
age
41-50,
*abah
writes:its been 10 weeks since my abortion im trying for a baby but it keeps coming negative.iv had 3 abortions. Due to careless behind my hubbys back.but now my hubbys really desperate for a baby.please help.
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abortion, cheated on my husband, trying for a baby Reply to this Question
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female
reader, buffy0809  +, writes (30 October 2009):
 I think you should talk with your husband.obviously you dont want a baby by other men but the question is really do you want a baby period....I know lots of women that have had abortions and you do realize you will have to have a Csection if you have a baby because of those past surgerys..that is something else to think over. It can be difficult but you seem desperate for answers to a question that if you sat down with your husband and spoke about he would help you get the answer.I also want to state cheating on your hubby..hmmm karma be honest be true to yourself get a divorce and leave him because with out communication with him and all the cheating its going to come back to haunt you.good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): Ok, well im going off the title dear cupid gav you here and saying"Dont have a baby with your husband!"Abortion is no way a form of birth control - wow im so angryDo you know how many HAPPILY married FAITHFUL couples would love to have a child!?!Your selfish! THREE abortions from being "careless" behind your hubby's back!! Three killed childrenUgh i think im going to be sickYou should be ashamed!For a child sake, dont get pregnant. Does your husband even knwo you were cheating! If so why does he want a baby the mentality of that is so messed up!
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A
female
reader, tumelo +, writes (27 October 2009):
First and foremost you've put yourself and your husbands health at risk, havent you heard of condoms, havent you heard of hiv, sti, aids from one woman to the other clean up your ways. take responsibility of your own actions, before you do anything get tested, then try to get pregnat dont let your hubby pay a price for your own deeds you dont knw wat diseases u contracted from all those man or was it one you cheated with?
ask yourself this Q's
Do you want to stay in thi marriage
Does he satisfy you
What is it that this other man giv you and he doesnt
Do some soul searching my dear
Hope u com alright and i apolise if i were being rude again get your self checked to see if those abortions caused any damages to you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): Ten weeks is not very long. Your body may not be ready yet.
Calm down and don't worry. Don't let guilt eat you up. The more you worry the less chances of you being pregnant.
If nothing works out after a year of trying you can see a doctor. But for a year just try to enjoy the process of trying to conceive.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): Your marriage is in no state to handle having children right now.
I'll bet your BF would back off on his desire for kids if he knew about your cheating.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): Abortion is not a form of birth control. What are you doing to your body getting pregnant, aborting and then getting pregnant all over again?
Have you learned yet what causes that? I think you need psychological help if you think sex and babies are a way to "manage" your life.
Seriously, this is not normal behavior, it is very self centered and narcissistic, not to mention self destructive.
I don't think you are mature enough or ready to be married or you wouldn't be cheating on your husband. Do not have a baby with him until you can sort this marriage out and yourself out.
My first instinct is to tell you to get divorced before you have children involved. If at some point in the future when you are actually ready for the responsibilities of a marriage and family and the two of you end up back together, then you will know it is the right time to be married to each other. Right now doesn't appear to be that time. You are not ready, face up to the facts and the truth and tell your husband what has been going on behind his back. He deserves to know, especially before you bring a child into this world in the midst of all this drama and "mistakes".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): The positive pregnancy will come in time. However, I sounds like you have some issues to handle. Do you think that having a baby right now will make the situation better or worse. I personaly think what's done is done, the only thing left to do is move forward. Seek a professional to talk to about why you are having so many slip ups. Try harder and focus on what you really want.
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A
female
reader, devastated2008  +, writes (27 October 2009):
 I think you are asking for abuse by making that post. Why would you post like that? You provided nothing that would make people feel sympathy and compassion for you... instead you stated your plea in a way that will make most of us hope that no child is ever drug through your marriage.
Please don't have a child with your husband, for your child's sake and your hubby's... and yours. But please do go get help... your life does not have to be one of shame and self-destruction.
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (27 October 2009):
 When you say you were careless behind your husbands back, do you mean you forgot to take your contraception? Or do you mean that you have been sleeping around with other men? If it's the second one, maybe you should consider divorce instead of planning a baby. Neither your husband or your potential child deserves you. :(
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