A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi EveryoneWe have been dating for 2 yrs now, but sometimes i feel like i dont love him, and like he does not love me. I have cheated on him several times but we're still together, and he is the first longest relationship i have ever had. The only time i feel like i am really connected to him is when we have sex, he says he loves me but i dont believe him. We have both cheated but he seems to have stopped now, but i dont trust him.Do i really love him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, growing  +, writes (9 May 2008):
 why you asking this here????
its so funny that people ask us if they love sum1..how do we know if you yourself don't know
weird!!lol!!
A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (9 May 2008):
 The keys to a loving and healthy relationship are loyalty,trust and love. I am afraid you have neither, you are coming across a total hypocrite saying he cheats on me as well as I cheat on him and you do not trust him.
Please can you tell me who cheated first, as you have not mentioned this in your post. There are more ways to feel connected other than sex, what you two clearly have is lust and nothing more, If you want a loving relationship with him or any other guy, I would cut out all the cheating and learn the true value of LOVE.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): If you loved him, you wouldn't choose to do something as hurtful as cheating on him. End of story.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (9 May 2008):
 You don't love him, you don't trust him, and yet you are sleeping with him. What is wrong with this picture?
If you aren't sure about this any more, it sounds like there are patterns and expectations in this "relationship" that already set in stone and at this point, just too hard to break. If what lonelytwo surmised and either of you were having revenge sex on each other when you cheated, that would be a sign to run, not walk away from this man. Anyone who makes you that nuts and makes you do things that you wouldn't normally even consider isn't good boyfriend material. Frankly, it sounds like you should be a single woman for a while to figure out what you do and don't want in a relationship, and what would make you draw your bottom line next time. This doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship to continue, sorry to not sugar-coat the reply. Best of luck, Dear.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): Sounds like you don't know what you want, and a cat and mouse game depending on what the other does or doesn't do.
This will never work at the pace this relationship is going. You stating that this is thelongest relationship you've been in tells me that the problems are more yours then his. Time for you to reflect on your life and decide what you need and why. There are hidden clues in your actions, and best to figure them out know then to have and unhappy life. If you need a therapist, then find one that does physcoalanalysis, therapist listen with no feed back and isn't helpful in your situation I don't think.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): Heya well if he's cheated on you but you forgave him to stop and he did well then all is well. But if you cheated more times on him i would say to talk to him becuz sometimes is the one who caused the affair could be having bad feelings about thier husbands wifes/BF GF cheating on them although it's themselves who done it.And as for you loving him well you should spice things up a bit with him go out on dates and etc and about the other guy your have been cheating on with get rid of him as soon as possible you probly may not aware of this but this "cheating" might be the reason why your kind of thinking your BF might not love you is becuz of the sex but then again it might be.But anyway talk to him about it about how he feels about you go on dates and sort but the other guy you used to have an affair with has to be gone and out of it meaning cuts ties with him and spend more time with your BF.You might not know something might bother him but then again it's just me anywho have a serious chat with him.
Sorry i made this kinda long anyways goodluck ^^
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (9 May 2008):
 Doesn't sound like it to me.
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