A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Okay so I have been seeing this guy for a year and a half and I do so much for him I give him money and all lately I been asking him to make me his girlfriend, he is talking about he not ready! well everytime I go on his facebook its always something about a girl, when I ask him about it he laughs and say its nothing that he loves me. so today I told him that I'm done I can't take the lies no more but I don't no what to do cause I really love and care about him but how can I make him change and only want to be with him should I answer his calls when he call me should I call him I need help
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 July 2010):
You know how many women have wanted a man to change? Millions. you know how many have changed? None. You know why? Men won't change for anyone else other than themselves. You can't make him change. Period. He will always lie to you, always use you. That's it. There is no changing him. So stop thinking he will, accept he won't and cut contact and move on. Or in ten years time, you'll be back here still wondering why he hasn't changed. If he won't change for his own good, he won't do it for anyone else.
A
female
reader, gorgeousgussie +, writes (6 July 2010):
Again I'm answering this as like you I was with someone who gladly took money off me, as it stands its over a grand, and in return I got critical remarks about my looks and weight. Lovely. But not before I gave him the money. THen i was cooed and fussed over til he got what he wanted. Typical. Its a lesson I have to learn . We cant buy our friends and if we can they are not worth having. In return for the money offer him work that you need doing. See what he says. As I am realistic enough to know I'll never see that money again. But the fault lies with me really as I should never have given him the money in the first place. It wasnt the first time either . I used to regularly take boyfriends out for fancy dinners. Or buy them flowers. THe main reason being that I had such low self esteem I felt i had to buy them things to like me. So now IM growing up but its taking a long time. Give yourself a big hug from me, take a deep breath and start again , with someone who deserves you and wont play silly head games. As L'oreal says, because you're worth it!
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A
female
reader, Aussiemum +, writes (6 July 2010):
You can never ever make a man change...what you see is what you get. Always. You deserve better.... :-)
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