A
female
age
30-35,
*assie
writes:I know that it is wrong to have sex with someone that I just met so I am going to ask for anyones opinion on this. Ok I just met this dude at the club saturday and then we left to go chill in his car we didn't do anything. We've been talking for almost a week now and hate this feeling I have for any kind of person sexually we first meet or definetly havn't known each other long. He tried to do something to me in his car but I told I was shy and moved over near the window and looked out so he couldn't see how red my face was. But he did do something that got me aroused he sucked on my nipples I didn't want him to do it but at the same time I did. So my question is should I get some kind of help bcuz I have a tendency of giving in to anyone when it comes to sex I feel I'm addicted to sex so What should I do ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 Is it just sex or do have a problem saying no in general?
Lets be honest here, you say he sucked you nipples. Unless dress code has relaxed a bit this should mean he had to a fair amount of work to expose them especially if you weren't helping.
So you said no, but then did nothing to stop him, why? Because you are afraid to stand up for what you want, or don't want?
It may be time to become more self-assertive. It is perfectly allright to set limits. You said NO to sex, he pushed, you didn't stand up for yourself and ended up liking what he did BUT still not wanting it.
This is really no different then saying NO to a chocolate bar, giving in because people say "oh don't be such a bore" and then liking the chocolate.
You just met the guy so it is perfectly normal to feel hesistant and that it is too soon, he has to respect that.
He made it obvious that he does not respect you or cares how you feel and is only with you for one thing.
Be aware that next time it might not stop at this. It really ain't the point on wether you are "right" on not wanting sex (yet). The point is, NO means NO. You could be married for 20 years and then NO still means NO.
You have the right to say NO to anything that happens on a date. From a kiss, to where you go.
Just because your body react to something doesn't mean you have to do it. If you don't feel ready, then you are not ready.
A
female
reader, red1982  +, writes (27 March 2008):
I don't think that you need help as you don't seem like a sex addict. You're not deliberately setting out to have sex with people, or finding any excuse to do this, you didn't sleep with him the first date either.
The problem is that sex feels good and you have a problem finding the will power to say no when it's a guy that you fancy - even though you feel that you should. You need to ask yourself why YOU feel that you shouldn't be enjoying it. Are you worried that you'll be labelled as easy? Or that he will disappear once you have given in? Or that you won't be respected?
You'll feel better about sex if you are in a committed relationship. Make sure that someone is interested in a relationship and then go for it. There's no shame in enjoying sex!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): I have a philosophy where this sort of thing is concerned - 'If it feels good, do it'. Assuming you're of a legal age that is, and also assuming that you want to.
Be safe, that's the main thing.
and I've no idea what sort of help could be given to you!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 Don't go to lonely places . Keep in the public places and you will be safe.
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