A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This isn't a relationship question, but I have a huge dilemma and I need some advice.I have a phobia of wasps, such a severe phobia that it's not rational. If I truly had a medical condition, then it would be rational, but I'm healthy and don't have any allergies... I'm just terrified of wasps. When I see or hear one, I fly into a panic. I think I would pass out if a wasp touched me. I've actually been stung and it actually wasn't so bad, but it happened so quickly that I didn't have time to think about it or time to be scared. Today I realized that something has to give. A wasp got into the house, and I freaked out. I finally managed to shut the door behind me and get in the room with the wasp and try to catch it and get it outside, but my heart was racing and I was shaking. I was so scared that I had to force myself to try and trap it, it was right on the window and I finally MADE myself go up to it to open the window, but I just froze up several times before I could go up there. It wouldn't go away so finally I just got sick of it and blasted it with soapy water.I'm scared that this fear is beginning to affect my functioning. I'm afraid that if one were to get into my car, that I could lose control of the car and cause a tragedy. All because I can't just accept a wasp sting.The weird thing is that there are plenty of things I ought to be scared of, that don't scare me. I've been bitten by a venomous snake (I almost died), but I'm not afraid of snakes at all. I can hold a (harmless, of course) snake and I feel nothing, no fear. I have had a close encounter with a shark once but I'm not at all scared to swim in the ocean. I feel relaxed and at peace. I SHOULD be scared, but I just don't feel the fear. Big mean fish don't scare me, snakes don't scare me, but wasps make me freeze in fear. In spite of all that, I'm TERRIFIED of a tiny insect that can't really do anything to me but sting me. Being stung isn't that bad, it's just bracing myself for it. It's not rational, I know. I just can't face wasps no matter how much I try to MAKE myself. It's just their creepiness factor. And I feel like a horrible person. I'm a cowardly person and I hate myself for it. I want to be brave and courageous. I'm not sure if I can change this quality that I hate so much about myself, or if I have to just accept that I'll never be brave. I'm truly disgusted with myself.Thank you so much if you can help me. I can't stand having this fear control me like this anymore. I want to be free of my fear. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2018): Hi Guys,Original poster here. I just wanted to say thank you for all of your answers. I have read every single one of them and it has colored my perspective a little bit clearer, like the wipers to the blurred windshield of my mind. I've seriously considered seeing a therapist for my phobia because it's gotten to the point where it really does affect my functioning. Allergic reactions from a wasp sting run the gamut from mild discomfort to fatal, but I just wanted to add that they can develop over time, which is really terrifying. The last time a wasp stung me, nothing really terrible happened other than severe itching and swelling but allergies can also become progressively worse over time. Wasps and hornets are, to me, proof that God makes mistakes... it had to be wasps... I can understand why intelligent design would result in something nice, like a dolphin, or a horse (which I LOVE) but why wasps? I know that they serve a purpose in the environment, but why did it have to be devious little stinging bastards? *Sigh*... some things, I'll never understand!@femmenoir: I see that you're in Oz! Getting off on a tangent, I know that huntsman spiders are usually not dangerous, but I can see why so many people find them frightening. We have them back home in Florida, too. I've read that many species of spiders in Australia are highly venomous, and I can understand your fear.I think that our formative experiences cultivate our attitudes toward things later in life. I'm from Florida, the land of harmless (well, we have one or two really dangerous species) spiders and killer everything else, and the latter is often on the menu of the former. Spiders eat cockroaches (those filth insects can fly!), spiders eat wasps, and I feel like I've just come to see them as benevolent for that reason. I can understand your fears, though, and it's interesting how our fears can form. Thank you for reaching out to me and for putting thought and consideration into your answers. I'll take your advice and I appreciate it deeply!
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (12 May 2018):
 You are not alone in being afraid of wasps. I am one of those people who hates to kill ANYTHING living, including plants. I think everything has a right to live. I have absolutely no fear of spiders or bees (I will allow bees to crawl on my hands if I need to put one out as I know they will only sting if they feel their life is threatened as, if they sting, they die). However, I have to admit to always being wary of wasps. Wasps have straight stings (as opposed to the hooked ones of bees) and can sting over and over again without any harm coming to the wasp. For this reason they do not have to feel threatened in any way to sting. They just do.
Sorry, that is probably not at all helpful, but just wanted to point out that you are probably scared of wasps for good reason. Most people have a phobia of some sort. (Mine is deep water, especially if I cannot see to the bottom. No way would you get me swimming in the sea like you do.) I have a work colleague who has absolutely no feat whatsoever where humans are concerned. He will confront ANYONE. He will wade into fights to stop them. He will deck someone if the need arises. However, show him a spider, even a teeny tiny money spider, and he completely loses the plot and freaks out.
It is unlikely that you will ever be totally comfortable with wasps. Few people are. However, most of us can control our reaction to them until they go away. There are therapists who can help you learn to control your sense of panic via relaxation and breathing exercises. It has to be worthwhile to find a good one to help you with this. Good luck. You are not a coward; you are human.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 May 2018):
 EDIT...
You are not alone and it can't get better.
SHOULD have been:
You are not alone and it can get better. Because of course it CAN!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 May 2018):
Argh! Who isn't terrified of wasps?! I think it's inherently sensible to be scared of certain things/bugs/etc. I think it's a primal instinct. However when it takes control over your life it becomes out of control.
I would look into finding a group/therapist who specialize in phobias and work through it.
Or if that is out of reach for you (financially) look into websites that deal with this issue.
You are not alone and it can't get better.
https://www.terminix.com/blog/science-nature/entomophobia-why-you-may-be-afraid-of-bugs/
https://www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-get-over-fear-of-insects-in-my-home-222101
http://www.changethatsrightnow.com/insect-phobia/how-to-overcome/
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (12 May 2018):
I agree with femmenoir but just wanted to add one thing:
Being brave isn’t the same as not being scared. Bravery is being scared but doing the thing anyway. So I’d say the way you trapped the wasp despite your fear, shows you are a very brave and courageous person.
All the best to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2018): Its not you I'm worried about its the poor wasp!You blasted that poor innocent creature with soapy water!Did it need a bath?Did it even ask for a bath?Nope, the poor little fella got trapped and wouldve got outside but for the glass which puzzled the little fella and then he got doused in rain like he'd never felt before!Joking apart wasps are actually sensitive creatures and wont sting unless threatened.I should know! The people next door had a wasps nest in their untouched cupboard and many got lost and ended up in my house.I discovered they liked to escape to a breath of fresh air from the window and very soon their radar and a bit of human help got then beyond the glass windows which seriously puzzled then until opened.So there is my tip for you.Think how the poor fella feels, lost and trapped behind glass, buzzing like a maniac and no one hears his cry for help.You have the power to open the door or put the car window down etc.The wasp is incapable of doing that.But in the car best to wear your seat belt incase you get muddled and think youre the wasp and fling yourself out of the door leaving the wasp to drive at 90 kmh!And remember that wasp knows nothing about driving a car!Wasps can land and not sting. But they cant press the buttons to down the windows, turn the corner or fill up with gas.They only sting when they think they are going to die!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2018): God created wasps.I Love Wasps.Wasps sting.They are like people. People sting too.The wasp is more scared of you than you are of it.That's why it stings.It's all down to sudden moves and whether the wasp has flown too close to danger; too close to something that moves too quickly for the wasps liking.Then bam... You're stung!I find that loving them helps and treating them carefully. Don't panic, that's when they panic and then Bam... you're stung!Wasps? You should read about them. They are quite the something!I Love Wasps. And I've been stung! That was a long time back and I live to tell the tale. I don't particularly like that wasp much because it was a mean sting... (it flew under my dress and stung me on my hip, so quite the sneaky) But s/he's dead now! And if another wasp pulls a stunt like that on me...God created wasps.
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A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (12 May 2018):
 Firstly, please don't beat yourself up about being so scared of wasps.
You can't help how you feel.
Every human being is afraid of something and you just happen to be very afraid of wasps.
You are not weak, you are not a coward, nor a loser, nor anything, simply because you carry an inner fear.
This is a ridiculous thing to even assert.
You are human and guess what?
Being human means being imperfect and being afraid of some things, from time to time.
We are born with the instinct of fear and even a very young child senses fear and if you were to place them near something dangerous or near the edge of a sharp drop, they will always observe and move back.
This is a natural humanly instinct and response.
So far as insects go, most human beings are afraid of one type of insect at the very least.
Personally, i'm very afraid of the "Huntsman" spider, which is similar to the Tarantula, but much smaller in size.
If somebody were to place this spider next to me, i very well could go into Cardiac Arrest!! haha
Does this actually make me somehow weak, make me a coward or make me an idiot, etc; etc;?
NO, it doesn't.
You are being way too hard on yourself, you really are.
You really could do with some professional Counselling, so that you can get to the very bottom of where your fear stems from.
Once you find that answer, i truly think you'll be on your way to serious recovery.
You should also think about this.
What are all of the things, that you should/could be afraid of, that you aren't afraid of?
Think about how you manage to "not" be afraid of those things and how you cope around those things on a day to day basis.
Are you afraid of wasps, because they're dark, because they fly, because you know they can sting, because you find them too large or creepy?
Think about this.
What's the very worst thing that could happen to you, if a wasp were to land on you, or even sting you?
Most probably nothing, with the exception of a bit of discomfort if you were stung.
I don't mean to scare you and i'm sorry to be so blunt, however, some people are allergic to bee & wasp stings, but most people aren't and yes, unfortunately these stings can be fatal, if the person is very allergic and it's not treated immediately.
It doesn't sound, however, as though you're within this category of people, otherwise you'd have made mention of it.
In order for you to find some comfort and solace around your fear of wasps, you really do require help and support to face your fear.
Don't allow time to get the better of you.
You should organise asap, an appointment, with a qualified person, so that you can work on your fear and get through it.
Good luck!
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