A
male
age
,
*TW-confused
writes:Hello, one more question. This lady and I have been friends for over 25 years, great friends. WE were perfect for and with each other. I truly had the love of my life. She said we go together so good, that I was the best thing that ever happened in her life and that she would never give me up or let me go. Two day later I get a text message saying goodbye. She would not see me, talk to me, answer letters or text messages. My heart broke into a million pieces. The real hard part is that we live a mile apart. I have to drive by the house I know where my heart is. This is the only road I can travel. Every day I get my heart ripped out and don't know what I can do to stop hurting. I don't have any understanding of what or why this happened. She is 4 years older than me, but it wasn't important to me. I just love her so much. Every Sunday morning I would bring here the Sunday paper, even after I worked a 12 hour shift. I never knew I could love so deeply in all my life. Now I hate even walking out of the house. I can't get her out of my thoughts.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 November 2013):
 I feel that you have not given us the whole picture. Maybe some relevant detail is missing from your story.
This has been your lady friend since 25 years- I assume that you do NOT mean just a platonic friend, it must have bben some sort of more romantic / intimate involvement from the general tone of your post ( although, I agrre that it would be strange also for a platonic friend to just up and vanish after 25 years !
So , this must have been a special friend for you. Well, the thing is that generally a woman is never content to be JUST a lady friend , no matter how special, forever. She wants to see things progress. Why did not they ?
Are you married ? Is she married ? Are you one of those committment-phobic types that just want to have " friends " and never an official partner with an official title ?.. How come you were bringing her the Sunday paper every Sunday, that sounds a little too much for just a platonic ,non romantic friend.... but way too little for
a non platonic , romantic one. In this second case, maybe after 25 years you should not have been still bringing her the Sunday newspaper home, ... maybe you should have been sharing the same home and the same Sunday newspaper.
If you don't mind giving us some more details, we can try and figure out a sensible hypothesis about what's going on.
As of now,... all I can think, like I said, is that after 25 years she got sick and tired of being nothing more than your " lady friend " and decided she'd rather have nothing to do with you at all.
But tbh I am not too convinced myself of this explanation, for the simple fact that , if there are / were romantic feelings between you, as your post seems to indicate, I think that the average woman would have gotten sick and tired much much sooner.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (6 November 2013):
 Were you together as lovers/partners?
If not...why not?
Maybe she just got tired of you just calling her a friend?
Maybe she wanted to be with you as a life partner but you never asked?
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (6 November 2013):
 The only reason I could think of why she may be acting this way is illness. Can you inquire through family or mutual friends why she suddenly cut contact with you? At least find out if she is OK.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): Your story reminds me of a earlier story where a man was married for twenty five years to a woman and only recently found out that for about the last twenty years of their marriage she had been a adulterer by her own admission and apparently he honestly did not know or have any idea. I cant help but think that she has always been the person she has been but you may of been so blinded by love you did not see this woman's true colors.You need to stop and re think this relationship. Did any of your friends not say something negative or have their reservations about her.Face it nobody throws you under the bus after keeping your bed warm for twenty five years. Excuse the bad pun. Something went wrong somewhere. My advice is not to contact her anymore until you get some information about what the hell went wrong and this may require you to hire a private investigator. I believe from my own gut feeling your going to find out that she has been keeping somebody else and his or her bed warm also. She probably played you and somebody else at the same time, and when push came to shove because you were so nice she just dumped you because she knew you would not make a big stink or raise shit. If the information you find out backs up what i just said , i would then personally go over and give her a blast of shit. Or once armed with the information from the private investigator you can coral her in public when she is out with the other man or woman and give her a good tongue lashing. It probably wont mean much but it will mean a lot for you. Remember embarrassing her and her huge ego might be the only sweet revenge you may want to get. And even her new partner after hearing how she dumped you will maybe even be motivated to dump her. That would be ultimate pay back. Be patient, get professional counselling and wait patiently from the private investigators report. Like a other agony aunt wise owl said, this sounds like something you dreamed up. I hope not because i just spent twenty-five minutes replying to your letter. Good-luck..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): All I can think of is that she had some things that were "deal breakers", you did one of those things, so she left. I'm not saying you did anything wrong, because it's all her, but it doesn't make any sense to me either. It's hard to move on, but maybe you can make a list of all of the bad things that went on, the times when she was mean to you or just disrespectful. I know you miss her, but eventually you'll begin to see why the relationship wasn't working out. i would think that that woman was very immature and couldn't tell you tuo your face that she wasn't feeling it. Unfortunately, she was such a jerk about it. Even if you'd only been together for two months, I would say that she definitely owed you an explanation. Please don't text her or send her flowers or hound her for answers. That's just going to make her mad. I'm so sorry you're going through this, I've only been with my ex for four months and he suddenly stopped talking to me or answering my phone calls. *hugs*
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