A
male
age
30-35,
*irpsychosexy
writes:ok. i have a dilemma (and no it isn't my spellings)right.i'm a bit of an accidental player...in that i'm a flirt.i'm totally in love with this girl (not naming names so we'll call her 1)i love (1). and yet i have 4 other girls trying to get with me. (2)i am currently with, through a drunken night and answering her asking me out...now i don't want to hurt her but i don't know how to let her down gently.(3)lives too far away from me, (im not with her) i just want to let her down gently as i know she wants to be with me.(4) lives about 2000 miles from me across the pond...i like her a lot, she is perfect for me, she's generous and caring and i think im falling for her as well as (1) which is not what i want.and finally (5) i have just met...she is gorgeous...i'm just lusting after her and would love to meet her, but i know for a fact that if i did meet up with her again i would do something with her that i may regret.So how could i make this simpler is what i would like to know, not keep all of these girls. between (1) and (4) i don't know who i want more, but that decision can be made by myself. i just want to stop the other 3 girls from wanting me so bad and me wanting them.sorry it's such a long read and very very bad grammatically. but right now i am stressing out and have no clue what i can do.please help if you can.SirPsychoSexy
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): I'm sure millions of guys would give their right arm to have a 'problem' like this.
Decide which one you like best. To use a horse-racing analogy, it sounds as if 1 is the front-runner, 4 and 5 are the dark horses, 2 and 3 the long shots.
You could try aiming for the jackpot and seeing if the five of them are prepared to live with you as your wives (perhaps you can address them as 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 and dispense with their real names and they'll all be each other's best friends, devoting their lives to the worship of SirPsychoSexy in a blissfully idyllic domestic arrangement).
However, settling for one is more realistic. Two or more is certainly attainable, but that's where people begin to get hurt.
Best of luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): I have an answer for you : hormones, hormones, hormones.
But you as a human being can definitely control it. Try to break as less hearts as possible before you grow up and become a man.
Trust me, it's not love what you describe. When you love somone you don't look at anyone else. Also be carefull of STD's. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (18 November 2009):
 Well, lucky you!
Whilst it may be flattering that so many girls are 'after you', you don't necessarily 'want' any of 2-4. You say that you LOVE 1 but how does she feel about you?
I'd go with your heart rather than your 'little head' in this situation. Lust only gets you so far in life and if that's all you really have you'll never get to experience the joys of an actual relationship!
You're still young and by no means ready to settle down with anyone, so while you decide what you want, and who you want, be fair to all the girls by not leading them on and be honest that the 'fling' or whatever it is, isn't exclusive.
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (18 November 2009):
 Well, if you love girl number 1, I don't really see where the problem is. I understand you don't want to hurt any of the other girls, but there is no way of avoiding it!As for girl (2) just tell her that you do like her and don't want to hurt her, but you 2 getting together was a drunken mistake.Girl number 4 lives quite far away, and with that distance, it may be very difficult to lead a relationship. Not impossible, but you won't be able to see each other much, you'll be missing each other loads and there may well be worry about the other one cheating, which isn't unusual for LRD's with such a big distance!I personally think you should go with number 1!But if you're still not sure, I'd say tell all of these girls that at the moment you're not ready for a relationship and don't know what it is you want. After that take a break from girls for a while till you meet someone you know you want to be with for sure (only do this if you really can't decide what to do though)I hope this helps, Good Luck
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love  +, writes (18 November 2009):
First of all COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS dude. get over yourself. Second this is not between you and 5 girls. Its only 2 maybe 3 of them at the most. I would say its between 1 and 2. The other 3 leave them alone dude let them find someone who knows how to be with just them. Really I would say leave them all alone untill you find out what you want. but for the time being this is between 1 and 2
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): Dump two you don't like her, go out with one you love her. *simples tch tch.
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