A
female
age
41-50,
*locked
writes:Hi,I am in a very loving relationship with a wonderful man. But recently I had to travel and was away from him for a while and meanwhile I met an old girl-friend and there has been some feelings and we discussed perhaps to to explore the touch of a woman, and we are both very curious to see how it feels. Is this cheating on my boyfriend? I can't imagine myself falling in love with a woman, but I am very curious to feel how it would feel to touch a woman. I have no idea if I am interested to go very far sexually or just touching, but I am afraid to try it cause I don't know where this might take me?!!! My relationship with my boy freind is very important to me, and don't want to mess it up. So I don't know what to do, Should I try it just to get it out of my system? Or should I give it up for now? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, werther  +, writes (8 August 2010):
well , talk to your boyfriend about it, he might be into it.....
if it´s important for you to keep your boyfriend then talk to him....
but the touching is sexual.. or?
you wont be shaking hands or doing high fives.....
thats why it is an issue for you ....
have fun
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): When we do not identify with a certain sexuality (i.e. we are straight and don't see ourselves as gay or vice versa) it's easy to view the opposite sexual orientation as exotic. In your case it sounds like you don't identify as gay, so fooling around with a woman seems more like an exotic, taboo event rather than cheating.
The problem is that sex is sex is sex. If you have restricted yourself to monogamy with your boyfriend, in terms of touching or sex or however far you go, experimenting with these things outside of the relationship IS cheating, even if it is exotic to you. You may feel excused because boys might think lesbians are hot - that's one way to justify this deviation from your relationship. But put yourself in your boyfriend's shoes - would you like him kissing and having sex with a man (or a woman!) behind your back? Wouldn't it make you question the faithfulness of your relationship?
Experiments are for science where no one gets hurt. When it comes to relationships, emotions are involved and you need to take them one at a time rather than several at once.
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A
male
reader, groovymoving  +, writes (8 August 2010):
The thought of trying out your own gender will probably not leave you so easily, so trying it out would be a good idea. But if you feel it would count as cheating your boyfriend and that's something you wouldn't want to do, you're indeed facing a problem.
Maybe the following will help you make a decision. I see sex as an earthly way to please the body, a way of fun, the fulfillment of earthly desires. In other words: unlike many people, I don't think sex and love always go hand in hand. Sex should be a part of love, maybe even the ultimate expression of it. However, love doesn't necessarily have to be a part of sex. That's the way I see it.
If you manage to see your situation between you, your boyfriend and that girl from that point of view, I see no problem in experimenting. However, you shouldn't forget that other parties involved might not be okay with these views.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, MIyanda117 +, writes (8 August 2010):
Don't do it with out him knowing, and if your up to it invite him to join you. Ask him to have a three some that is most guys dreams.
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