A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Okay, hi Im 14 years old and I have a question. My mother and fathr have been together about 18yrs now. Last year, my mom been really acting weird and everytime when she has a phone call she looks at the number and sometimes won't answer it. One day, last year I had her phone and someone called her. And I picked it up and it happens to be a guy when he heard my voice and clicked right away. And right there I knew this was the problem my mom is talking to someone. Idk if its friend or whether they have somthing going on but I know someone is up and I need help . Also today , I saw her on the phone again , yet I heard her in the room and when I went to the room .. She was hanging up say goodbye etc. Now I know there's something going on. And I always had that guys number I saved it as mystery. And when I was in the room with her I called him and front of her. She got a lil bothered but smiling like its right to do that. I told her is really mest up and im bother what's going on. She said there's nothing going on but I know they have something and I won't tell my dad. My dad right now is disabled he had a stroke last year. I won't dare to tell him. It brakes my heart. Please I need help. I really don't know what exactly to do. My mom tells me its none of my business she right but there's something going on. Please help
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female
reader, asdfg +, writes (8 August 2010):
This happened to me about a year ago, a few months before I moved out of my parents' house. I found out my mom was a PROSTITUTE. No joke.
Well, I kept my mouth shut, and still can't tell my stepdad what she's up to. Or my little sister. I could not do that....
What helped me is talking to someone about it. At the time, I was fortunate enough to have insurance and just told my mom I wanted to sign up for counseling. She didn't know that I knew...
And as corny as it sounds, it really DID help. My counselor never pushed me to tell anyone or anything like that; it just helped me to get all of my feelings on the table. If you're fortunate enough to have insurance with fair copays, I'd recommend at least considering getting a counselor, or at least talking about it with a best friend, you know, that one person you hopefully have who you can talk about anything with.
Good luck. I know it sucks. And don't feel guilty for not telling your dad.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (8 August 2010):
It would be very bad to tell your father anything about what is going on at home. Stress and anxiety is the last thing he needs after his recent health problems. The fact is that you don't know for sure that your mother is having an affair. The man could be a work colleague or mere acquaintance. She may feel the need to have friendships outside the family, particularly now that your father is disabled and perhaps dependent on her for care or financial assistance. Even if you are right and she is having an affair, she has told you that it is none of your business and you just have to accept that. Ultimately you are her child and relatively powerless to change her behaviour if she, as a grown woman, decides to have an affair. Sadly there is nothing you can do but sit back and hope that she does the right thing.
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