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I hate this job but don't want to be seen as a quitter

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Question - (30 August 2013) 9 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Would you quit a job you've been at 4 months if you hated it? I know it hasn't been long but I feel myself wanting to give up and walk out the door some days. I work with infants who are very demanding at a daycare. The crying babies, high maintenance parents and ridiculous demands expected of me are starting to make me rethink this as a career. The ratio is 4 babies to one adult and our room holds up to 8 so at any given time there may be 8 babies crying at intervals. I recently interviewed for a new job and they want me to come back in two days for a trial run to see if the job is something I would want to do. My previous job was a front desk one and the new one almost parallels it. I love kids and thought I wanted to work with them but I am exhausted and the pay is low. The new position has the potential to pay $3 more per hour. I'm having a hard time deciding mainly because I don't want to seem like a quitter and the new job requires me driving to work while I ride the bus now. I do own a car I just ride the bus to save money and out of convenience. I am barely getting by and knew the pay would be low but i've been told doing what you love pays off. Any thoughts?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2013):

Don't stay in a job that you hate, and which is also a dead-end job, and has low pay. The combination of those 3 is too much, although if it was just one of those 3 I could continue to endure out of necessity if need be. but in your case it sounds like all 3 apply.

if you're afraid of being seen as a quitter (a valid concern since you may need future references from your current boss), just explain that the pay is too low and you just cannot make ends meet. No one can fault you for leaving if the pay is too low for you to cover your living expenses and they won't hold it against you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (30 August 2013):

Honeypie agony auntYou have tried it for 4 months and it's NOT for you, that doesn't make you a quitter - it means you AT LEAST tried it on to see if it was a fit, and it wasn't.

I would NOT (unless I desperately HAD to) stay in job I didn't like. Working with kids is not for everyone. I did it for a few years, and I liked it, but it was 2-6 year old and much more fun.

I would not quit though til you have another job handy.

Go for what you enjoy and honestly, what pays better.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (30 August 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntWhy put some negative label on yourself?

If you took this job believing that you would love it, so be it. IF you found out (as you have) that you really CAN'T endure its demands.... then what's wrong with admitting that you sold yourself on something that you don't like? ... and move on to something (anything) else?

Many people believe, during their young lives, that they know exactly "what they want to do"... then find either: That what they thought they'd love, they don't.... and/or, they became aware of something else (some other job) that seems to be even more to their liking....

Make the change and don't think ill of it for even a minute!!!!

Good luck......

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (30 August 2013):

CindyCares agony auntWhy a quitter ? You gave a try for a reasonable time - 4 months - to something that you had never done before and had no idea how it would have affected you, and you find out you are not cut out for the demands of this particular job, which definitely is not for everybody. Babies are nice, but, yes, they do cry a lot, which you don't fully appreciate until you only deal with one at the time. If you have a roomful of baies, it will be non stop cryng, which will be comprehensibly too much too handle for same people. As for the parents , they will be inclined to be naturally protective- or overprotective - of their babies, and understandably demanding ( after all, daycare services charge quite a pretty penny !, even if they don't pay YOU a lot ). That too, not everybody is equipped to handle it comfortably and serenely, and there's nothing wrong with that. Not everybody can be equally fit for ANY kind of job, and maybe your vocation is doing something else. Don't feel bad, and take the other offer.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (30 August 2013):

It doesn't sound like you love "doing what you love".

Doing what makes you happy is fine if it allows you the opportunity to enjoy life outside of work. But if you're barely scraping by now, how will you afford the things in life (such as traveling) that are REALLY things you could love.

There are careers that pay decent and are enjoyable. You may want to look into getting financial aid and going to school to find one that will allow you to not worry about money.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (30 August 2013):

No, you won't be perceived as a quitter for leaving after 4-months. If you decided having a job in general is not something you want to do, then yeah, quitter might be a better term. But this particular job just isn't working out for you. There's many other jobs you could have in the future that involve working with children, but this one just isn't working out. Definitely take the other job if offered and you think you'll be better off--it's definitely worth your sanity and a nice pay increase.

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A female reader, Madalo 1 Malawi +, writes (30 August 2013):

You're not enjoying your job and you have a chance for another job. Take it. Do you know how many people are stuck at a workplace enduring everyday just because they cant find another job? But you have the opportunity, so go for it and dont feel guilty. Life is all about taking chances. You're still young therefore you shouldnt limit yourself that this is the career you want to follow, especially as its giving you so much headache. Explore other options and you'll eventually find something you truly enjoy doing.

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A female reader, YoungButNotNaive South Africa +, writes (30 August 2013):

YoungButNotNaive agony auntYes, I would quit a job if it stressed me out that much. Actually, I have before. I worked there less than 4 months, too. Just make sure you have another job lined up before you quit, and you'll be all right. If someone thinks of you as a quitter, that's their problem not yours. Also, having to drive to work instead of riding the bus is a small price to pay for happiness. You can't put a price on that. While it's true it will cost more, do you really want to stay miserable just so you can save money?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013):

By all means leave that job, if it stresses you.

You should not be around babies; if their crying bothers you, and feel pressured by their parents.

Parents are highly protective of their infants in the care of others; and will notice your discomfort. In fact, they will be looking for the least signs of stress. Even if they're the cause.

You're not being a quitter. You are making a sensible job-change, and you'll be earning more money.

You're wise to have a job lined up before leaving. I hope you give fair notice.

You're very young, and you don't have children. Leaving a job that is such a bad-fit is the responsible thing to do.

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