A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, should I contact this guy or not? We hooked up a few weeks ago(a one-night, no-strings-attached thing), and it was the best sexual experience of my life, and I dont want it to be the only time it happens, but how do i go about suggesting we do it again without sounding really stupid? And what if he says no? Any advice? Thanks xxx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, empty-1  +, writes (25 August 2011):
Have any of the previous respondants even considered the possibility that she might want to use him for sex? It is entirely plausible that she has more experience than you give her credit for - while not common by any stretch, I've known girls who have had a half dozen partners by age 17.
I love the statement from Thelaird1: "You should concentrate on respecting yourself more and not giving yourself away so casually"
wow - what more evidence does one need of the pervasive and all encompassing nature of the sexual double stanadards being perpitrated on both sexes?
If you like screwing around with him, and aren't after something more emotionally gratifying, then hell, go for it! Great sex is worth pursuing for its own accord, and if you've found a good source of great sex, you would be foolish to give it up for no good reason!
Be honest with yourself about what you are really after - not only going into the situation, but as it unfolds. FWB arrangements haver a habit of dissolving in a very ugly melodrama because human beings are hard wired to have emotional responses to sexual activity. As long as you are frank, communicative, and honest with yourself and your screw buddy, you can avoid the heartache and headach that could ensue if people start feeling more than lust and attraction but don't deal with those feelings more appropriately.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): You're very young so i'm guessing (i hope) that you haven't had much sexual experience so it probably did feel amazing at the time. The thing is, it was a one night stand, which means you both agreed for it to happen once and that's it.
I doubt he'll say no, most guys won't turn down being able to get sex with no effort, but you will regret it. I think you actually like this guy which is why you want to do it again. If you're hoping for some kind of relationship you're going to be disappointed. The most you'll get is a "friend with benefits" which means he'll basically use you for sex.
In my opinion you should just leave things the way they are and keep that night as a happy memory and move on.
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A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson +, writes (25 August 2011):
If he says no then there is really nothing to be done but move on and find someone else.But that is a bridge only to be crossed if you have to. I think you should contact him, the best way to do it without sounding stupid is to follow these guidelines- Don't try to sound clever, just be yourself. Speaking from experience I can tell you that trying to sound clever always has the opposite effect.- Be cool. If you are confident and calm he will be more likely to want to see you again.- Less is more. The best way to get him interested is to give him a little bit and let his imagination do the rest. If done right stuff like "I'd like to see you again" can be much more effective than less subtle approaches. Hopefully this will help.
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A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 Looks like you want a FWB situation. Hope you can deal with the hassles involved.
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A
male
reader, Thelaird1 +, writes (25 August 2011):
 Best sexual experience of your life? You are a young girl with your life ahead of you. You should concentrate on respecting yourself more and not giving yourself away so casually. It seems that this guy would happily have sex with anyone anywhere. Don't lower yourself to his standards and find someone you can mutually respect
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