A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. Right now were doing long distance and i see him every month and a half or so. i was basically with him all the time for the first month, then left for uni, came back and had a solid month with him, we talk all the time, skype, fb, and were really close. i wouldnt say i loved ihim (it takes time for me to feel that way) but i care about him alot and really really like him, i cant get him out of my head.Yesterday i went out and got very very drunk and went to a really tiny club which is basically hook up central. when we were on the dancefloor this guy that tried it on with me the last time i went clubbing was next to us. the last time i told him thrice that i had a bf when he tried to start dancing with me. this time, i was more drunk and somehow i got away from my friends and i was dancing with him, he pulled me back more, and he started kissing me. i honestly dont know what i was doing, part of me thought that i was kissing my bf the whole time, i kissed him for quite long and then realised and felt really shitty, walked back myself and left my friends and cried quite a bit, just felt like a completely horrible person bec hes done so much for me and he means everything to me..i dont know if i should tell him. my friends say no because they knew how drunk i was, and he trusts me so much, i really dont want to start over again. plus hes long distance so i cant even tell him face to face, itll be on skype or msn or something. how can i make it up to him like that? what should i do? i just really dont know. please help.
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clubbing, drunk, kissing, long distance, msn Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AllieC.88  +, writes (21 July 2010):
hey, i had the same thing happen to me but i kissed an ex which i think is worst. i told him the truth and we broke up for a couple of weeks. We got through it slowly and we both love each other a lot. now we are actually living together. so the point of this is to tell him the truth. he deserves to know and if he loves you he will appreciate the honesty. it might take him a while to get through it but if you guys love each other enough you both will get through it. but the thing is you have to be careful when you drink because the trust has already been broken so you want to gain it back.
A
female
reader, AllieC.88 +, writes (21 February 2010):
i have to saw be honest. i have been in that situation before, and it will be hard on the guy, and it might take him some time to get over but if he loves you and you love him, it will work out in the end. It did for me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe kiss meant nothing and it was a really stupi mistake and ill never do it agian. i just dont know if its worth it telling him, i know the obvious reasons but its hard enough doing the distance and we're doing it really well.. this will just ruin everything. and i cant look at him, talk to him, explain it to him face to face, i cant make up with him face to face, the next time ill see him is in april.
And yeah, mystiquek is right, this is bullshit, drinking isnt an excuse and its all my fault. the thing is we have completely different friends, etc, how can he know? i know i sound like a conniving cheating lying bitch and my actions kind of make the words hollow but he means alot to me and i know itll hurt him alot (yes i shouldve thought of that when i was kissing the other guy, i know)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 February 2010):
Given that a lot of people know about it, there is a high chance that someone will tell him. It would be better coming from you than from somewhere else. Things like this get around very easily, even of the other person is far away. He will find out one way or another. You should tell him. If you lose him, then that's the way it is. But don't live a lie.
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A
male
reader, greg290352 +, writes (20 February 2010):
 It's understandable why it happened. Never easy to run long distance relationships and stay faithful when your young. Maybe also you need to be sure of your own feelings towards your boyfriend? Since having a close male friend you care about is not quite the same as having a boyfriend in terms of how you feel. Perhaps, on some level, you wanted to just be free and reckless? The drink made that easier. I honestly would not tell your boyfriend however. Just stay away from that club. Kissing/flirting/petting is not sex after all. Good luck :-)
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (20 February 2010):
 What if he finds out from someone else? How would you feel if he did this to you? Being drunk is just an excuse for cheating, it doesn't make it right. Fess up and be accountable. Let the chips fall where they may. You owe it to the guy to tell him, dont you? Put yourself in his place. Would you want to hear this from someone else? or him? Good luck! And if you can't hold your alcohol, then DON'T DRINK!
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