A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there, I really need some relationship advice here. So first off, i am 17, my boyfriend is 16, we grew up together and on March first this year we started dating and were still together. My problem is that im hoping i can get advice on is that i find my boyfriend isnt so into our relationship anymore, the past month and a half it feels like were growing more and more apart. He talks to me as if we werent dating, like just the other day i asked him what he was doing and he was playing call of duty online with some friends, and one of his recently new friends was Kendra and shes his age and they have more in common, but he was telling me how amazing she is and i dont want to hear that, like im pretty sure no-ones girlfriend would want to hear that. He changed his Facebook password, and hid our relationship status on facebook along with his "wall" as he previously has done before. And today i went out with my brother and his girlfriend and my step sister to a beach, and i guess he didnt like that because he wouldn't answer anything from me, and later in the night i went to my friend's( shes a girl) grad party and he never knew about it and i called him after he freaked on me because i missed a text from him, and he hung up on me, and told me to go do what im going to do, and then late in the night, he texted me asking if i was drunk and i said no i didnt have alot to drink and for him to call me, but he didnt, and there was no reply. So should i assume that hes cheating on me? does it seem like this relationship is ending? or am i worrying too much? I have no idea what to assume, he doesn't really talk to me as he use to. I really need advice, i go to sleep crying because i keep thinking im going to lose him.
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 OP, its a little too hasty to assume that he's been cheating on you. Yes it seems rocky right now, but both of you are young and it does take a lot to honestly commit to a proper relationship.
He is insecure of you and you are of him. I say dont assume anything yet, instead have a talk to him about what's going on. Its surprising what a lack of communication can do in a relationship. Sometimes all you need is to talk...and that's it. Tell each other what's bothering you, why you're worried, what you can do to make it better. Trust me, unless both of you share your thoughts, you cant come to any conclusion.
A
male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (2 July 2011):
 I really want to give you an answer you would like to hear. I really do, but am not sure I can. Taking your questions one at a time - I think it's a bit of a leap to assume he is cheating without any proper evidence he is - so, I would put that one to the back of your mind. Having said that, there is something seriously wrong in this relationship and if you don't address it you may lose him. You may lose him in any case but this situation cant continue indefinitely or else it is really going to grind you down. You need to know where you stand - for better or worse.
So, what does that leave you having to do? It leaves you having to confront him pretty much now about how you feel and what is going on. Don't accuse him of anything, like cheating, because you can't really prove he is - all you have to go on is his emotional distance. It's worth noting he had no justification for being mad at you because I can't see anything you did particularly wrong. Having said that, his response may suggest he is feeling insecure in himself and is putting distance between you two as a protective mechanism - his lauding of this other girl could be part of that and in no way does it suggest he is cheating.
Talk to him in a neutral space, tell him how your feeling and see what he says. If he opens up you could well find your going through a similar process at the same time and can work through this. If he doesn't give a response or doesn't engage your going to have a long hard think about whether this relationship is worth it because if its getting you this bad then it will only make you feel worse. Good luck and take care :)x
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