A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:HiJust a quick question, I have been having problems keeping hard during sex, it's been on and off for the past year.I have taken viagra and I get a good normal hard but it still goes soft durning sex and takes ages to cum. I have a new woman in my life and she wants me. She is very horny and gets very wet which all sounds fine but I still go soft on her. Any ideas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): i think it could be something more seriously
A
female
reader, Too Sensitive  +, writes (17 December 2008):
I agree, it's more than likely psychological, but it never hurts to check in with your doctor just to be sure it's not anything physical.
Yes, when you worry ahead that something might happen, it often DOES happen in reality! If you can get yourself to a place where you are relaxed and can enjoy the sensations of what's happening in the moment, instead of fearing what could happen, maybe that is all it will take.
It is more common than not, I believe, for men of your age to experience this, so know that you are not alone, by any means. I think it is the exception and not the rule if a man does not have to take any medication of this type, once they reach a certain age. Just look at all the commercials for ED meds! There's obviously a need for them, and an audience. Just as we women as we age suffer from negative symptoms related to our reproductive systems and sexual activity, so do men. It's all part of life and the aging process.
I hate to bring this up, but I must ask...do you view alot of porn? For some men, porn can enhance their sexuality and arousal. For others, it can interfere, as they start to have unrealistic expectations regarding sex. All I know is that when my fiance was looking at porn, it started to become increasingly difficult for him to maintain an erection or climax during intercourse. Once he stopped looking at it, that problem seemed to correct itself. The other issue he had when he was viewing porn was that he was compulsively masturbating too often, not just when he was in front of the computer screen. When it was time for us to be together, sometimes it was just too soon since his last "session" with himself (often in the bathroom, when he would pretend he had to go). Maybe it is easy for some men, esp. younger men, to be able to get an erection soon after pleasing themselves, but he is 50, so his body has changed from his younger days, of course.
Porn and masturbation are NOT to blame for every single sexual problem. But, in some cases, they are to blame, which is why I bring it up. Just a thought to consider, in case one or both of these could be factors.
One final thought...alcohol and drugs also can contribute to ED. Good luck - I hope you find something that works for you.
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A
male
reader, askJAY  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 hmmm...definitely psychological...unless you've just had too much sex and are slowly getting a bit subconsciously bored with the conventional.
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A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 I think you should try something else and also try not to make it such a chore try to just let it happen lot of foreplay and maybe try some different techniques maybe a romantic dinner and a bath with candles for both of you and dont stress .. Lot of times you are already thinking the damn thing is going to go boing in the middle of sex so you are really just setting yourself up for a limp noodle to begin with.. So Just Let it Happen ..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): Try Cialis instead of Viagra. The effect lasts for more than 2 days and lovemaking can be a more spontaneous act, rather than the 'rush job' with Viagra.
There's nothing wrong with your plumbing if you can get an erection, which makes me think this is psychological. The mere thought that you're going to go soft when you start a session is enough to make it happen. Just relax and go with the flow. Take the pressure off yourself and try not to think about what might happen.
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