A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I need help, I am in a LD relationship and have been engaged for a little less than a year. Before we made it official I would text and email her every day and even phoned her occasionally but she rarely did the same. It never bothered me at the time cos we were not an item as yet. I thought things would change when we made it official but it hasn't. If I don't send an email, call or even text she'll never bother to do that. Apart from keeping in contact I have visited her regularly and most of the time have gone out of my way to make our time together special, but it's always me that has to initiate something, she never does anything spontaneous and I sometimes feel that she doesn't appreciate what I do for her and for us. For me it's not about saying I love you but in the little things that we do for each that says I love you. We recently celebrated our anniversary and we spent it in her home town. I didn't plan anything as she said she would, seeing that I do not know the area that well. I really thought we would have done something to mark the day instead we spent the day lazying around and ended playing a board game and going to bed early. All of this has made me wonder whether she really loves me and whether she really cares about 'us'. I never feel like I'm someone special to her. Had it been that we were still friends I would have understood but I am marrying her in a few months time. Could it be that she is indirectly trying to chase me away or am I asking for too much in this relationship
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female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 I would take a step back and look at the relationship sounds to me like she isnt really in it with her whole heart and if not your going to just get burned .. It takes 2 people not one to make a relationship happen. LOL.. Sorry not lol at you but as I am writing this I am sitting here thinking about me and my ex. If you feel as if she doesnt love you then maybe she doesnt or maybe she does and just isnt good at showing it .But in all accounts Just be careful a heart is a fragile thing and when it gets broke it takes a very long time for it to heal. I know going on 2 yrs and still trying to heal mine .........Anyways GOOD LUCK !!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): One word...COMMUNICATION! It's my favorite word! I am also in an LDR, but we Talk on the phone every night, send emails, cards and packages through the mail. Although we are 2700 miles apart for the time being, I know this man loves me. We are planning a future together, and have discussed marriage. The thing that has drawn us to one another is my favorite word...communication! We talk about everything. We have had some minor arguments, but always talk it out. We have visited eachother several times, and when we are together it is always special!
There must be a way of opening the lines of communication between you and your girl. Tell her how you are feeling! I woman is usually excited about an up and coming wedding. From what you say, she seems indifferent. Something is not right. Start asking questions, before you take this huge step!
I wish you luck and happiness!
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