A
female
age
30-35,
*ovesJamie
writes:Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for a year in febuary. Thursday night we we're on the phone talking about someon on the telly and he said what the one with masive boobs and I said yeah, how do you know shes got massive boobs and he said well you cant miss them babe there huge. This really upset me, it might seem trivial to the people reading this but he has always loved my boobs, he had never said anything to upset me this much before and we have has our fair share of arguements but this really upset me. I have explained to him i cant forget about it but won't bring it up all the time and will push it to the back of my mind even though I am finding it really hard. Last night we we're talking about being drunk and he said he got drunk round this girls house at a party which I had to problem with, then he said because I was going out with another girl at the time and they invited me I slept on the sofa and his current girlfriend then slept at the other end. I said did you touch her and he said well on her arm and that but never anywere personal. I found this so hurtful because whenever we lay together he normal wants to touch personally. Never just wants to cuddle and hold my hand or anything like he did with her. It makes me feel really upset, he knows me and Gabbie don't get on because when we started seeing eachother she was texting him saying she misses him - he didn't leave her for me we got together about a year later, he didn't really know me that well. My question is am I taking all this to seriously? I feel as if he is doing this to upset me even though he keeps saying sorry for what he said thursday. I told him sorry doesn't make it go away but I would forgive him. I have never felt this upset before and this is such a small thing that is making me feel so upset. Please tell me if you would feel the same - but please don't say get over it because I can't. Thank you.I have asked this before but would like some new answers.
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female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (25 November 2008):
 You need to chat more just message me hunny TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, LovesJamie +, writes (24 November 2008):
LovesJamie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah Mandy, you are right. Thats why I got confused with all the answers. Thank you too all of you though because they still helped.
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (23 November 2008):
Hi Hun
I didn't think that he stayed over at this girls while he was with you, Have I got this right? You were talking about when he was with her he touched her and he doesn't touch you the same. I would like to know if I read that right.. As that would be different all together...TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (23 November 2008):
 First of all alcohol can make people think, say and do things they might not do otherwise.
You are worried about loosing him but I will tell you that it's a known fact that a man and woman CAN lie together and NOT have anything going on. It can be a cause for concern though. Don't stress too much over the issue. It leads to self-doubt, breads insecurity and can cause a break up if it's unfounded.
Any relationship has to have respect and communication but it also needs to have TRUST. I would suggest looking at the relationship carefully and looking for any signs that he has been unfaithful. If you know he is a good guy and had given you no other reason to distrust him try this. Focus on you rather than him and realize that you have to c omde to terms with what you are feeling. Then have a talk with him and express those feelings, without blame or accusations. Once things are really out in the open it is much easier to get closure.
Let him know that you feel hurt and you would like for him to be more responsible when he is drinking. It would be a good idea to stay out of places where this kind of thing would go on. You are way to young and you are damaging your life. If he really cares for you he should be able to see things from your point of view and respect your feelings.
It sounds like you are most threatened by the fact that his ex is texting him. I can see where that would make you feel insecure and make you doubt his committment to you. You have to be strong here hon. Don't allow her to put the *Demons of self_doubt in your mind. If he chose to be with you and she was available then it could just be that he REALLY WANTS YOU! She could be playing with his head more than his heart and not really want him at all. She just might not want you to have him. Make a big breath and make a stand!
*Just a note......Don't be so intimate with him. Be harder to get but not unavailable. Be kind and forgive his indescretions but keep your eyes wide open and watch for signs that he isn't giving you what you need in this realtionship. As long as he is, don't let her bother you, cause he did say he was sorry and it possible that he really is. If he lets himself slip again you might need to rethink the relationship and let her have him!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (23 November 2008):
Hi Hunny
Try not to take things like this seriously, I no its hard..But the more you think about it and try and work it all out in your head you will over analyse and more things will pop into your head that maybe haven't happened and it will all appear worse than it is sweetheart.
The fact that he just mentioned this girl on the t.v well he probably didn't think he was just speaking his mind with you, And these things will come up often in life. You need to be comfortable and confident with yourself love so when things like this are mentioned it goes right over your head. When your happy enough with yourself as a person it wont upset you, As being confident and strong in your beliefs about yourself will combat anything that someone says like this..
If he is saying things to get a reaction then he has got what he wants and that's no good for you is it love, As being happy in your relationship and content is not trying to upset the person your with so if and I say if he did say anything with the intent to hurt you then he himself must be feeling insecure to make you feel that way...And once you show it bothers you he no longer feels insecure at all but secure in knowing you care enough to be upset, I've had little games like that played on me. (try it I dare ya :)
Im going to send you a link on self esteem...
http://www.teengrowth.com/index.cfm?action=info_article&ID_article=1274&category=emotions&catdesc=Emotions&subdesc=Confidence
I do understand sweetheart but all this hurt your feeling wont go if you don't feel good about you, Thats the important thing here and then those little remarks made wont affect you..Oh I had a b/f that constantly made little remarks all the time, He would go out and phone to tell me he was with a lovely girl just to hear a reaction but it wasn't my problem it was his and he just hated the fact Id say have a nice time see ya later it bugged the hell out of him it drove him insane... Hence that didn't go on for very long as I got bored and went out on my own and he was so insecure he didn't like it and after 20 phone calls in one night well I went insane...So have lots of confidence in you chick and don't ever think you are worth less than anyone. He probably just didn't think and meant nothing by this...If you need a chat message me love I hope this helps a little TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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