A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:hey,having a bit of an issue.so, i've been friends with a guy for ages now, and recently, i developed feelings for him. so, i gave him a note explaining my feelings, because i'm not good at talking about these things face to face.a few days later when we were sitting outside, he got this note, saying that he didn't finish reading it, and that he wanted to read it in front of me. but when he got it, he shouted the note and all our home friends were there. he made me so upset. i went and cried alone, and when i came back, he quickly started reading, or should i say screaming it out again! after that, as i sat alone, he acted as if he'd never done it and acted all innocent. he didn't even say sorry, and i don't know why he did this. so my question is, why did he do it? why did he humiliate me in front of everyone? is it obvious that he doesn't like me? he's 15, btw, i'm 13. and please, i don't want people just focusing on my age, i actually want an answer. thanks
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 May 2014):
 Yikes!
What a TOTAL dumbass! I hope HIS behavior will make that crush of yours dissipate instantly!
He is not worth your feelings NOR your tears. He is a immature jerk and he has absolutely no respect for you or any other girls.
There is a saying, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Which means if you don't TRY you won't know. You TRIED to express yourself to a boy you liked, what you gained was NOT what you had hoped for, BUT you DID gain something. You gained insight to this guy. (he is a cruel and a humongous turd ball)You also gained a lesson in life. Not a nice one, but not all lessons are. WHEN you express your feelings to someone they will NOT always respond positively. Sometimes you might not WANT to share your feeling with a crush. Why? Because you PUT them on the spot too, some deal with it in a immature manner (like YOUR crush did) others won't.
Stick to people who are WORTHY of your attention and friendship. He isn't.
I would DROP him 100% from your life (pretend he doesn't exist). Because he ISN'T a friend, he never was.
And know this... If you were EVER taught in Kindergarten that if a boy teases you, hit you or pull your pony tail it's because he likes you... THAT is bullshit. He does all that because he is a little TWAT! And you should stay away from guy like that. Now and in the future.
Chin up. I get that you were embarrassed, but the only one who should REALLY be embarrassed should be him. His behavior was appalling, pathetic, cruel and lame. Your behavior was sweet. Don't be embarrassed for being sweet.
A
male
reader, lforde04 +, writes (18 May 2014):
That's horrible, I feel extremely sorry for you- nobody deserves to be treated and humiliated in such an appalling way. If there are any positives to the situation, your crush has revealed his true colours. He's an unpleasant bully who you'd be better off without. You're extremely young and in the next few years of your life things are going to change a lot and you'll meet new people- as the old saying goes there are plenty more fish in the sea, some of whom will treat you a lot better!
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A
female
reader, cattycakes +, writes (18 May 2014):
What he did said more about him than you, without question. Those who heard him would not be impressed. He showed himself as a cruel bully. Nobody could think badly of you. You must wonder how you ever liked him. You could say to people, if you feel the need to send out a response, that he must have a very unhappy home life to feel the need to humiliate you like that. I expect there is something not right at home. Perhaps he is put down by a parent. It comes from somewhere. What a nasty piece of work. Perhaps keep your feelings better protected in future, until the other person has earned to hear them.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (18 May 2014):
 What you did was kind, lovely and special. What he did was nasty, immature and childish.
He did this because A: he is not a nice person or a genuine friend and B: he wanted to "impress" his equally immature, pubescent friends by showing you up. You did nothing wrong, he did. You should not feel bad or humiliated, he should!!
You say you don't want to focus on your age but the age gap is a big part of the problem. At 15 this guy wants very different things to what you will want and expect at 13. When we are young a two year ago gap seems HUGE! I know you are not going to want to hear this but he sees you as a kid. A child.
Obviously he is still a kid himself at 15, as his own behaviour shows, but as a 15 year old boy he wants to appear "grow up", in his own childish way, in front of his peers and his friends. He is going through puberty and most boys of that age feel awkward, insecure and embarrassed by the changes to their bodies and there emotions. As a result he is trying to make himself feel better by humiliating you and making himself (in his own mind) look good.
This insecurity about "status", looks, being the "better" than their friends, looking mature and so on means that they want to distance themselves from younger children. Sometimes that can be in a nasty form.
I'm very sorry you have gone through this experience but one day, and I promise this is true, you will look back and laugh. When your 13 and have a crush it can seem like the end of the world when something like this happens, when you get a bit older you learn to deal with these things far better to the point where you shrug off such idiotic, childish behaviour from other people. How do we get to the stage of dealing better with it? Through gaining experience and going through the kind of situation you have had.
You did a kind, lovely, sweet thing but had it thrown back in your face. You just have to get back up, dust yourself off and put it behind you. This guy is not worth bothering with and you should take it from his actions that the "friendship" is over. He may like you, most probably he does not judging by his actions, either way he is NOT a nice person or someone you should be getting involved with.
Stick to friends your own age. Find a nice boy in your own school year. Lads who are older may put you under pressure to do things you certainly should not be doing at 13, or will see you as a kid to make a fool of.
Lifes full of set backs, embarrassing situations and stupid people trying to make fools of us. Everyone on DC has had similar experiences yet if we can get through it so can you :-) Besides it will all blow over soon. These things tend to quickly be forgotten.
Mark
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2014): What he did was cruel and mean and I bet anyone who overheard thought he was a total ass too. Don't feel humiliated! He should. Just rise above it - hold your head up high and pretend it never happened but don't even give him the time of day. I remember at 13 liking an older boy and was so mean to me! Though looking back he may have actually fancied me but was too much of an ass to be mature about it!!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 May 2014):
 First, don't feel humiliated- humiliated about what ? You have all the right to have feelings and to express them as you see fit, it's not that YOU have done anything wrong. And these feelings have been expressed in a letter, i.e. in a personal, private communication, that he had no right to share with anybody without your consent. HE should feel humiliated to be such an uncouth, ill mannered jerk. His only excuse is... his age ( as you see, I focus on HIS age :)- at 15 , some kids are basically some mindless little beasts who would do anything to make themselves noticed by their " pack ",- as long as they can impress their friends, anything goes, even being nasty and vulgar.
Then again... if we have to judge a day from its morning... I am afraid that this kid is a little jerk that growing up will just become a big jerk. So dry your eyes, leave him be, give him a wide berth, and make sure that your next crush is a kinder, gentler young boy ( yes there are those too ).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2014): He is an idiot, a nasty, immature jerk, don't bother with him, people will soon forget, focus on your friends, hobbies, school work, and meeting new people, you will meet a nicer guy, you will. You are very young and have plenty of time.
Agree don't let it get to you, he's a jerk! forget him, don't let him see you cry anymore, then he and his stupid buddies have won and he knows he has really upset you, don't ever give anyone that sort of power.. be strong hold you head high and ignore him, (don't be rude, that's not needed, but dont be his friend) and move on, its hard but you can do it!!
good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2014): There are only 2 things I will say about your age:
- avoid boys who aren't in your year until you're 16; they aren't the most sensitive and will probably see you as a child (which is better than them seeing you as a potential girlfriend - in my opinion; they'd probably use you and/or do what this jerk did)
- it will all blow over soon :)
As for this problem, he is a douche and you should accept that he's nasty and arrogant, then begin moving on. He wasn't a good friend and he just wanted to use you as a joke to his friends and make you look silly. He's stupid and you just need to ignore him from now on. Try not to let it get to you.
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