A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just recently just performed oral sex on my girlfriend yet she didn't return the favour. She always txts me that she does want to but she didn't. I didn't want to tell her about it since she'll just do it out of pity which I don't want. I'm just wondering why she didn't do it. I would've let it go but it's actually got me annoyed at her since I have been waiting for it. Can anyone give any tips?Thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): ORIGINAL POSTER:
Thanks guys. Reading your answers made it much better. Maybe I'll wait. She probably wants to do it when it's right.
I know I'll receive one. Just thought maybe I would this time. And yes she did orgasm from the oral.
Thanks again
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): First off OP getting annoyed isn't going to solve anything.
Secondly you say she always texts you that she does want to, can I ask you do you ask her in those texts if she wants to or is it just in response saying you want to do stuff for her?
It kind of matters because if you're always telling her you want it and she's only responding saying she wants to give you that then it's more than likely she feels pressured to perform and is probably worried she won't be good at it.
She's your girlfriend OP she's not going to do any sexual act out of pity, that makes no sense why would she pity you? You're not some homeless guy asking for a sympathy blow job.
Now you gave her oral, which means if you were actually good at it and you made her cum, then it's very unlikely she wanted to do anything that requires the amount of work a blow job does after that.
Dude a blow job is a lot of work, I mean giving oral for us guys is not very taxing we don't have to move our heads a lot etc, but a blow job expends a lot of energy, can be painful on their jaw, some guys are idiots that try to fuck their face instead of letting them do the work which can be sore and make them gag, their neck can get sore etc. do you really think that's what a woman wants to do after getting head? Hardly ever happens. If you want it then you ask for it or you let her do it on her own.
The best blow jobs are the ones give when they don't have to be asked, when they just do it on their own. If you're always asking for it or she's only doing it because she thinks she has to then it won't be that great.
Talk to her about it but don't put any pressure on her and don't use giving her head as leverage or even hint that you only gave her head thinking she would. Even if this isn't the case always let a girl think you love giving her head and want to do it for her even if she doesn't want to return the favour that time.
Dude this isn't porn, taking turns, you give, then I give is a load of crap, she either does or she doesn't but you don't give head expecting it in return every time. The only time it becomes a problem is if she doesn't give it at all ever, then something has to be done. But you always have to approach it with a view of making her want to, never coercion never manipulate and never make demands. If you're annoyed then calm down and talk to her sensibly.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): ORIGINAL POSTER:
I am her first boyfriend. And the only one that's she's done anything sexual with. Even if it's just masturbation. When we text eachother she always mentions going down on me and swalllowing. But maybe she's waiting for the next time we see each other since we'll be getting a hotel room. Somewhere more private? She does make me cum by masturbating and I don't think she's so grossed out by the cum.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 For how long have you been together ? Maybe she's not comfortable enough with giving you blowjobs. Or maybe she's never done it before and she's scared to fail, or she finds it gross.One of the reasons I didn't give my bf a blowjob (before we started to have sex) was because I've never done it before so I was afraid I might bite his penis, and I though it was gross anyway, because of his salty taste (in the beginning). But once I've done it, everything went better than expected. He never suggested nor forced me into it. I was always telling him "next time you'll get a BJ" and stuff like that and I never kept my promise. Until one day... :) You should make your gf feel comfortable around you, turn her on, arouse her, make her want you. My bf is lucky, since I'm more horny than he is so I can easily go down to business, if you know what I mean. If you see a future with this girl, it will come in time, you can bet on it. I gave bj to my bf after one year of relationship, so she might want to take things slow. Just don't refrain from pleasuring her. What goes around comes around.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Maybe she just did not think of it. It's not like there is an etiquette manual which says : the gentleman goes first and performs oral sex on the lady for at least 115 minutes ; then it's the lady's turn for mandatory reciprocation .Sex thrives on spontaineity , on spur-of-the moment things, not on choreography.Or, she might have had reasons , maybe she is not confident about her oral skills and is afraid to disappoint you; maybe she did not want to interrupt the warm fuzzy afterglow of climax to start round two right away; maybe she did not want to be late for dinner or whatever. If getting oral was so important to you, you should have asked. Forget about " pity" , communication is the key to sexual harmony. If you never ask, you'll never find out if your girlfriend has a problem with giving oral, why, and how could you compromise to be both satisfied.Fuming silently, tryng to guess, is passive-aggressive, and ineffectual too.
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A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 First of all don't give to get. Ever. That's a problem.You could stop giving as a pay back or resentment or some hard lesson, but that's no good either. Ask her if she's uncomfortable, had bad experiences, doesn't think she'll be any good at it. Talk about it. Don't freak, get information.If she still refuses, her choice, you'll have to place BJ's on your list of needs for your next RS.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): Yeah, I've got a suggestion, same I'd give a woman whose man won't perform oral.Get another lover.But, you haven't made clear that you want it, and she's probably not experienced.Tell her what you want.Talk, that's what really makes sex great.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): Here's the thing: She doesn't want to do it and doesn't know how to say so. She is probably not comfortable saying it at this point. Some women do not really enjoy giving a man oral sex. That's a fact. Some do it just to please a guy but they won't admit that they are truly disgusted by it. Some women just make excuses to not do it even though they say they will do it. In either case, it's all about not enjoying it. Don't take it personal. Some men's goodies don't smell or taste nice, from what I am told.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): Ask her whats up man. It may not be her thing and she may not like it. If thats the case, stop giving to her unless she wants to reciprocate otherwise if you keep giving and not getting anything in return, youll be lookin elsewhere for your needs possibly. Thats from my experience anyways. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Some women just really aren't that much into oral. Others take some time to get into the mood. Give it time, wait till she's ready. Patience might be the key.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Many women are worried about being forced to swallow or even have a man finish in their mouths, so she may be hesitant for that reason. You could always just ask, and unless she gives you explicit permission, once she gives you oral you should give her the option to finish you with her hands. Also, after a person has an orgasm, they may want to wait until the next time to reciprocate since it definitely kills the buzz to have to turn right around and get to work. So she may just be waiting until the next time you two are alone together.
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A
male
reader, darkwind94 +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Why don't you two perform oral sex on each other at the same time? That probably will get her in the mood to do that for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): Some women are different, some women prefer doing oral while some may find it absolutely disgusting. Be patient and give her time don't force the issue if she's clearly uncomfortable with it. If you continue to force the issue she'll eventually be even more uncomfortable and she might eventually leave you over this issue. I personally believe that women have to put more of the effort when giving oral because to me it just seems more messy. So I can kind of see why she would be so hesitant with oral right now.
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