A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all!I have an LDR boyfriend whom Im visiting in a few months. His mom will be told about us mid-May, but with mother's day coming up, I've been considering sending her flowers.The thing is, I've mentioned it to him and he thinks it's great, but would really like it if she knew about me beforehand. Long story./ANYWAYS.Do you think it would be weird to send her flowers anyway and just put his name on it instead? :D
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female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Hello,Don't send the flowers. Read Tisha's answer. It's a lovely thought but wait until Mom knows about you. I'm not a lover about parents not knowing etc but obviously that is another story. Share with us if you need! Good luck.
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Forget that, send them to me!
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A
male
reader, Nithyanala  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 I agree with Tisha, waiting would be better. Sending them now doesn't achieve anything useful, it would just stir the pot a little too soon. Your boyfriend seems to have the right idea. Go with it.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 May 2011):
 So, let's see. You have discussed sending flowers to your boyfriend's mother with your boyfriend. He said wait until she knows you exist. You still want to send her flowers only with his name on them.
I think that maybe you are trying to find a way to move the parental notification along a bit faster, and in a dramatic way. LDRs are tough, especially LDRs in which you've never actually met your LDR partner. I would back off on the flower idea and I would actually encourage you to do some reality checking on the viability of this LDR.
So, yeah, weird to send flowers to the LDR's mom, who doesn't even know you exist yet.
I found one thing interesting about your post, this sentence start: "His mom will be told about us mid-May." It would have been more compelling had you written: "He's telling his mom about us in mid-May." Or "He'll be telling his mom about us in mid-May." Do you see the difference in the tone because of the passive tense? There's something a bit 'off' about the way that reads. "His mom will be told about us mid-May." Like she's getting bad news or something? Just a bit peculiar-sounding to me.
It's also a bit weird that he hasn't told her yet, isn't it? I expect it's part of the reason you've been thinking of the flower thing. You want to move things up a bit. She's not your mom, you've never met her, she doesn't even know you exist. So sending flowers to her might wind up being very surprising, confusing and upsetting to her. It sounds like a sweet gesture but from what you've written it's inappropriate at this time.
Why not send her flowers when she's told about you in mid-May? That would be more appropriate and I think honest. Don't you?
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