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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm not homophobic, and I have nothing against people that choose not to be straight, but my quite close friend has basically told me she's bisexual...Now I feel watched by her when I'm around her. I know it's ridiculous, and that if she was a guy, just because guys fancy girls, it doesnt mean every guy watches you. But it's just her... She makes me feel uncomfortable now. I just don't like the thought of a girl that could possibly like me being around me.How can I get over this nagging feeling inside of me? Why do I feel this way when I'm not homophobic? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): wow my life,if you just want to be her friend that's ok.tell her that.she'll understand believe me.just don't think of her that way.plus she probably trusts you.that's why she told u. and be careful,ur thoughts r
leading u towards homophobia. good luck!
A
female
reader, chocolatetpots  +, writes (10 February 2008):
Hi, this is your friend! if she were black, asian, chinese, gay, bisexual, makes no difference in my eyes.Everyone is different so why should you feel so hostile by finding out she is bisexual? would you feel the same if she were gay?Take everyone as they are, not how you want them to be, just because she is bisexual mean she see's you as a friend in the same light, to her, you are her friend, remember that.Good luck, Angie
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A
male
reader, aim  +, writes (7 February 2008):
 It is true that most homosexuals may it be gay or bisexual DID NOT choose to be their sexual preference. But there are also just some that were just influenced due to environment issues -for example having 4 sisters and being the only boy between siblings.
I myself am born bi and i just accepted it myself just last year and have not even come out yet! This is so because people here AND all over the world already has that 'back-off sensor' when it comes to knowing one is gay. You should just be lucky that she has come out to you because she feels she can trust you.
I guess it is normal to have these reactions at first, but you have to move on to the next level and accept her. You can talk to her about it and just chat, besides she's supposed to be your friend, right? =)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): hey sweetie. nothing is wrong with your friend being bisexual. it doesnt mean she completely fancies women.. if she fancies you, tell her you're straight. make it clear to her. be cool with it. just accept the fact that she's partially gay and move on with your life
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A
male
reader, davie  +, writes (7 February 2008):
Wow back up sister... "I have nothing against people that choose not to be straight" -- she wouldn't have chosen not to be straight. There is debate over what causes sexual orientation but what is for certain is that it isn't a choice.
She is the same person as before she told you. If she hadn't told you she'd still be the way she is. She has told you this probably out of honesty and wanting you to know, just as you would want to tell her stuff. You just need to forget about it as after all it is irrelevant.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (6 February 2008):
 Hi,
I think your feelings are natuaral really. You have known this person for a while, and suddenly you find something about them that makes you feel uneasy. But as you yourself have said, it doesnt mean that the girl is after you. The only way that you can ease the situation is to talk to her and make it clear that you are 100% straight.
If for instance, you had a guy around you, that fancied you, but you didnt feel the same way, but really liked them as a friend. Would'nt you make it clear where they stood.
Well its the same thing really. Just talk to her.
XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): Here is a word from an old coot. It is unsettling when someone who led you to believe that they are not into same sex relations, but completely hetero like yourself...can make you feel like you have been mislead.
I personally feel that sexuality is sort of on a sliding scale, some people are more hetero than others, but they choose to experiment with same sex relationships....there used to be more value placed in our society on marriage and family, which requires heterosexual relationships to survive, so more people chose to be commited to their lifestyle and sexuality....now anything goes, and a lot of kids during these times when you are learning about sex and your preferences, simply get confused with so many choices....sometimes this can turn out badly, other times not....it can be pretty confusing for everyone involved. I personally miss the old days when people cared about things like family values and raising kids to have the least problems in life and we helped guide them in how to to do that. Now I see a lot of sexual experimentation with same sex partnerships go very often with experimentation with drugs, not saying this is 100% the case, but a strong trend non the less...so keep an eye on your friend and if she goes that route, experimenting with drugs, encourage her to make better choices for herself and others.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (6 February 2008):
 Because.. you ARE homophobic.
she's still the same person.
ok she prefers muff. but she's still the same person. she's only telling you who she is.
and ironicly you are well on your way to becoming a different person because you can't accept your "Friend" for who she is.
you're not the sterotypical homophobe.
but you are becoming one.
simple answer.
Stop thinking of her getting her groove on with other women.
More to the point... WHY are you thinking of that...?
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