A
female
age
30-35,
*ah mouw
writes:Well, I have a lot of my exs stuff, but I think he wants me to have it all or just doesn't really care either way. Anyway, I found his Nirvana hoodie in my laundry the other day with all these notes I never gave to him, you see, I used to write letters to him, cause it made me feel better when I wasn't actually able to talk to him. I haven't read them I don't really want to. Would it be irrational to give him the sweater with all the notes in it?
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female
reader, lah mouw +, writes (28 March 2008):
lah mouw is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, the truth is, I don't really care what happens, I just thought it would be fun, at first it was more I WANT HIM TO REACT AND SO SO AND SO... but now it's not so much that. it's more.. hm. this is curious. I think I just might have to feed my curiosity and it. Cos I don't care what happens so quiet frankly I have nothing to lose.
thanks lats and genties
A
female
reader, kittikat +, writes (22 March 2008):
 I agree with Danielepew, it wouldn't be "irrational", but what would you be accomplishing by giving them to him? Depending on the circumstances of your breakup, you'd either just be rubbing salt on the wounds or opening up doors that are better left shut. Either way, it's a romanticized soap opera and not a very mature way to handle it. I'm not trying to say you're immature at all! Don't get me wrong. I write letters to get my thoughts and vents out too, and a few times I did drop them in the mailbox or hit "send" on email. For me, it feels good just to get it out- the few times that I did send them, I regretted it because it felt like I was trying to create drama. Like, "look how much I cared, look at what I thought of you when this happened, don't you feel like a jerk now?" 9 out of 10, he really doesn't want to see or hear it, they aren't wired like us. Realistically, it seems kind of silly and probably won't accomplish much. Don't waste your emotional energy! You should figure out what it is that you want. If it's over and you know it, you should take them somewhere and burn them one by one. As you watch the fire, think about all the good things you have to look forward to in the future now that he's out of the picture. It could be quite theraputic. Don't even read them. Just make sure you do your burning in a safe, legal place and don't get burned :-)
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A
female
reader, Shamandalie  +, writes (22 March 2008):
Perhaps you should read them first and then decide if you would like him to read them or not.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 March 2008):
 I wouldn't say it would be irrational, but I do believe there's no reason for you to give the notes to him. It seems to me that this would be your way to send him a message that you can't tell him directly. But I guess that sending him the shirt would be enough.
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