A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:While using my boyfriends computer the other day, a history itempopped up in his search engine as I was trying to type, it was some of his porn viewing history. I don't have a problem with porn but what came up was a search for 'brutalized anal'. This has mereally thinking what the hell! I've dated guys with some pretty interesting fetishes but this one has me thinking all sorts of things. I haven't discussed it yet and don't know if I should. I wasn't snooping, it just popped up. What would you do??
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to most of you for your help.
I'm not quite sure why you even bothered posting Weparly, believe it or not when I find out that my partner is turned on my brutalty I do feel it's something that I need to find out more about. But thanks for that uninsightful, poorly written, condescending response anyway.
If he saw what I looked up it might require a little explaining too, but I wouldn't mind.
I discussed it with him, and the bottom line was that I wanted it to be something he could share/discuss with me so I could understand it better.
Thanks again to everyone else, your responses were spot on.
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (5 March 2010):
 Listen. Just because he is looking that stuff up doesn't mean he would actually want to have brutal anal with anyone. I mean that stuff can be pretty violent, and I doubt he would actually want to do something like that with someone that he cares for. It's probably just a private fetish, and something he likes to watch for his enjoyment. He knows it's an act (at least the 'brutal' part) and that people aren't actually getting hurt. Again, this is most likely just something he enjoys in his private time.
If you really want to talk about it, do so in a non confrontational way so you don't scare him into denial or not telling you the truth. Just calmly sit him down and tell him what you found and ask him if that's something that interests him. Again, don't sound like you're angry or whatever. Just ask him nicely and be interested in what he says. Depending on what he says, that will decide what you do. If this is nothing but a fantasy, and something he doesn't really want to do, then that's fine. Let him have his fantasies. But if it's something that genuinely bothers you, you have to reconsider being with this guy. He will always have these fantasies, and you can't stop him from doing it. It's something you will either have to accept or move on. OR he might like this stuff AND want to actually do it. You have every right to say no. Anal isn't exactly healthy, and to do it the way he is viewing might hurt a lot.
So there are a lot of things to consider, but the first step is to talk to him in a non confrontational way. Best of luck to you. :)
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A
male
reader, weparley +, writes (5 March 2010):
Lol!! I'm not surprised. Men/women do things that in private when there spouse/gf/bf is not around.
What will he find in YOUR computer if you wasn't around?
"Get over it"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): Hi. If you are ok with him watching porn in general and he left his search in history he cant be too bothered about you finding it, so talk to him about it. Hes obviously interested in that sort of thing....or why search for it. Some who regularly watch porn can go on to seek out evermore extreme porn because "regular" stuff stops "doing it" for them over time. Id be concerned and watch him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): Well it says something about what turns him on. If it turns you right off then maybe you have to consider whether he is the kind of guy you want to get involved with. I find anal sex hideous and if a guy pressurised me into it I would tell him to get lost. Maybe you should confront your guy about it? What do you have to lose?
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