A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok i have a boyfriend and we have been dating for six months and he proposed to me last week. then yesterday i saw him with my best friend kissing and i shouted at him and now he won't stop calling what to do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you and now i am going to make a column from my experience
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 You found out your best friend and your boyfriend have been married to each other for one year?
How close are you to your best friend?
If this is actually a real scenario, then break up with him and make friends you actually know things about. raise the baby with love and don't look back.
Plenty of women have had success doing this before you.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2011): Ok, well hes an ass for being married to someone else while dating you and then getting you pregnant and proposing also while married
. While I believe he should be in the childs life (it really sucks not having a dad), you should cut him off except for emergencies regarding the child and when he visits the child or picks him up for his days with him. Work out a custody agreement a few nonths after the baby is born and cut off the best friend too. Why would she allow him to play you like that?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 September 2011):
 So basically you were dating your BFF's husband? Or is he married to someone else on top of this? I'm a little confused.
Either way, I would cut him and the BFF out of my life, have the baby and be ready to raise it on my own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you but i found they have been marrird for 1 year and i am pregnant with his baby can you give me some advice on this one?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2011): Get away from both of them, neither is your friend.
This may only have been a six month relationship, but it will be painful to end.
Don't listen to him, don't listen to her, unless they were both drunk out of their minds.
If they were, remember you can't trust an alcoholic who is drinking, with anything.
Remember, people never cheat because of you, they cheat only because of themselves. This is universal. There is no blame on the victim, except by those who cheat.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2011): To lalal and the other anonymous reader: i respect your veiws, but I am a big fan of closure. I do think she should find out what happened. Whether she takes him back or not there are alot of reasons they kissed. She deserves to know what happened, and then he'll leave her alone. Wouldn't you be curious? Wouldn't you still be wondering even after a long period of time what lead up to that? Was her best friend and innocent victim or the slut of the century? I had a similar problem, except i wasn't engaged and it wasn't my best friend, yet a good one. I shut them both out, but i became restless. I kept replaying it over in my head. I had to know what happened. I called my ex and we talked. We didn't get back together but i needed that closure. And i was finally happy when i got it.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (9 September 2011):
 So so lucky. Seriously, it doesn't seem like it now, but you are truly lucky. You can still easily walk away at this point. You aren't married with joint accounts, shared everything, and having to face a divorce lawyer. Six months was too soon to propose. And unfortunately for reasons I can never comprehend, some people don't put a lot of thought into such a serious commitment. I know of literally 2 couples that were engaged at just 6 months. One, the girl just dumped him because he had no job. And the other, they began fighting and broke up. Engagement should be serious and taken seriously. It is the start of the rest of your life together. Does he think of it that way? Or was it an in the moment spontaneous act out of infatuation? He kissed your friend. I wouldn't care how it happened, you saw it and it was happening. If you let it go he will walk all over you forever. The betrayal of cheating in general is unforgivable, but with your friend??? Obviously nothing he has done means much at all. Be glad you know now and it's only been 6 months wasted on the cheating loser. Ditch them both, cry a lot, and move on.
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (9 September 2011):
I also disagree that you will be wondering in 50 years what really happened. I doubt you will be wondering in 50 weeks what really happened.
You know what you saw. Don't doubt yourself.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): I disagree that u will worry 50 years from now esp at ur age. There is time for real love, trust and respect. Ditch them both. There is no excuse that will excuse them kissing....not even the I was running really fast in the rain towards her and as I tried to stop when I reached her my shoes slid on the rainy grass and my lips fell to hers as I came to a stop. Really lady....no excuse is worth hearing. Be glad as the others have said u caught this early.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): I can't believe all the answers saying to ignore him. First off, what exacty did you see? Did you just walk in on them kissing? Or did you watch without him knowing as he grabbed her and kiss her passionately? Secondly, call him. Text, email, skype, meet for coffee. However you do it, you need to talk to him. Find out what really happened. Your best friend could've kissed him. Even if thats not the case, talk. 50 years from now you will still be wondering what happened that day. Make sure you tal to your best friend too. And if the stories are different, talk to the together so you can find out the truth. Lies have a way of coming out when people are confronted. After you talk, and the verdict is that he had kissed her, say your goodbyes and walk away. If she had kissed him, then take him back and don't talk to her again. Best of luck. And remember, you won't get any peace of mind until you find some answers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): Turn your phone off, have a good cry, and find a new best friend. And when you're ready start dating again, go for it.
It sucks what he's done this to you, but 6 months isn't really that long....you can bounce back from this.
And though it probably doesn't make you feel better now, like everyone else here say, it's far better to have found out now, than down the road when you're publicly engaged or married.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): Kiss of Judas. Dump him, you're too good for him and your friend. And yes, 6 months is too early to propose; you still don't know the person after that long.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 September 2011):
Well, now you know... He is a douche! Be glad you found out now then after the marriage.
Tell him to go fly a kite.
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A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (9 September 2011):
Sweetheart if u saw him kiss a girl with ur own eyes imagine what ur eyes have not seen. Seriously, ditch the dude. He is not worth any more than u have already invested. He's calling bc he wants forgiveness n if u forgive him n take him back he'll do worst next time n just seek forgiveness again. Pattern....don't let this be u. Best wishes
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 September 2011):
Six months was a little too soon to propose anyway in my opinion. But when he kissed your best friend, he sealed his fate. There is absolutely no way that you should have anything more to do with him or your best friend. Get rid of them both, or you will spend the rest of your days being cheated on/being betrayed/being made a mockery of.
Do not allow people like this into your life. All they do is destroy.
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