A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 and I've never had a boyfriend. I personally find it weird. I know you guys are probably thinking "you're only 19, you have your whole life ahead of you to fall in love/be in a relationship/have a boyfriend/etc..." and you're probably right but the fact is, thats not going to stop me from feeling the way i feelThis generation seems to grow up quickly and i'm not trying to be conceited in any way but i'm not ugly. Truthfully, without being vain, I would call myself pretty. I do receive compliments quite abit, mainly from friends, family, some girls and guys and thats it. A couple of guys have been interested in me in the past but that was a very long time ago but things didn't work out with them because, to put it bluntly, they were idiots. They had girlfriends but were trying to get to know me at the same time. I was actually pretty hurt by that, because I started developing feelings for them, until I found out about their 'secret life'.Now it's nearly been two years since someones even liked me.It's not like i'm a bitch either.I treat everyone equally, I dont like to judge people before I know them. I'm friendly towards everyone and I'm outgoing. Im hardly ever stuck in the house, so it's not like I should "go out more" or "try new things" because that's what i'm usually doing, or i'm occupying myself with something.My life is not too busy as I have a lot of free time.I go to college, I have a job, I go to the gym meaning i'm in education, i'm earning and i keep my body healthy and in good form.So most days I ask myself, what's wrong with me?Because it's not like people would show an interest in me, and i would blow them off... People just do not show an interest in me, point blank.My friends have guys coming up to them asking them for their numbers, or guys looking at them, guys talking to them trying to get to know them.But me? Nothing.I know this post sounds kind of lame. I'm just trying to figure out exactly what it is that's stopping me from meeting someone, or stopping someone from showing an interest in me.I can definately say its not intimidation. I know when I ask people, some say that could be an option. I highly doubt i'm giving off an unapproachable impression.Anyone out there who can give me some advice?Thank you in advance. :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): You totally remind me of me!
I'm 30 now, but I had my first bf when I was 24 and you know, what? I'm happy things went that way beacuse it allowed me to live my teen years and part of my 20s the way I wanted- travelling, getting scholarships around the world, meeting cool people. Now, I've been in a relationship for 5 years and I really miss those days! Sure, when I was 19 I did want a bf and I felt like a bit of a freak cos all my friends had one, but in retrospective, believe me, it was for the best!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): You remind me of my friend.. Kind, pretty, smart.. Simply lovely. Shes
19 and only recently did she start dating for the first time! She met her new guy thru going out with me and a guy friend and then she sort of developed feelings for him but it didn't work out relationshipwise and they stayed good friends instead..but then she started talking to his brother and bam! They hit it off immediately! Fate works in amazing ways and things just run their course. go out and meet new people, make friends etc they all create opportunities for u to find your significant other! ( one that is worth your while )
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (18 December 2010):
Well you definitely covered all the usual bases I take (get out more, be more approachable, etc) so I guess I'll ask this:
Do you have a lot of guy friends? Almost no guy friends?
Both can contribute to it. If you're a person who knows a lot of guys and is often around them, it becomes harder for guys who may be interested to convince themselves that you don't treat everyone like you do them. They'll feel like they're immediately in the "friend zone" before anything starts.
On the other side, if you have no guy friends, that may say something about your interactions with guys. I have a roommate for instance who is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet and, by all means, not bad looking. However his interactions with girls are always...off...if there is a word for it. He's still very approachable and friendly, but he still comes off as a person that girls simply can't be friends with. Its a hard characteristic to define actually. But maybe you show similar traits. Its not that you are unapproachable, unfriendly, or not pretty; it could just be your interactions with guys don't leave them wanting anything more.
In any case, if you do or don't fit those descriptions, I'd suggest that regardless you get one of your friends to set you up. I'm sure some of your friends know guys who'd be willing to date at random. Even if it doesn't work out maybe all you need is to get a spark going; to get some practice on dating interacting with guys in a flirty, yet friendly manner.
Its hard to pin-point exactly what it could be based on the information you gave, but I hope the advice at least leads to something. Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, Finn +, writes (18 December 2010):
If guys thought you were approachable, they would approach. Ask a friend you trust what he/she thinks... They would be able to tell you if you're doing something that conveys an air of unapproachability.
Of course, the obvious answer to your problem is to find a guy you like and ask HIM out.
Take care....
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