A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i am shy relating to ladies. I feel sexually active like any other man. I also even imagine having sex with girls whom i am sexually attracted to. I have never had a girlfriend just because of my shyness to girls. There is a girl in our college that i feel attracted to but i have never talked to her even at any one time. The worst thing is that she isn't the first girl but i have felt the same way with other many girls. Help me cause i feel bad about myself.
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never had a girlfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anoms  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 my first step in your situation is to always approach girls i like just as a friend, and not to let my feelings get the better of me until i get to know them much better, and by that stage you will be feeling much more confident around eachother and everthing else should fall into place naturally, gudluk.
A
female
reader, No_Nonsense  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 Hey there, first of all, let me say shy guys are great :)
I think many girls find it refreshing to meet a shy guy instead of those over confident dudes.
But the thing is that shyness is more about yourself than about the girls - you are so worried about perhaps saying the wrong thing or showing your personality that it makes you hide in your shell. A great tip is to take the focus off yourself. When you're talking to a girl, focus on them so that you stop worrying so much about your facial expressions and what you're saying. This will also make you come across as more relaxed!
When talking to a girl, start slow. Smile, walk with your back straight and make eye-contact so she sees you're confident. Then just open up a conversation about a course you're taking together or compliment her about something. If there's a connection, the conversation will flow.
If not, hey, at least you tried! Don't be too hard on yourself!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): I think that you need to be relaxed and smile or smerk when you meet a girl,unless your smile is really strange like one of my friends.Say hi my name is ....,than if theres an event coming up like a game or a cool band invite them,buy 2 tickets say I was going to go with one of my friends but he cancled on me,and make sure you ask the girl what there into before hand.Posably through one of your guy friends if they know her.And don't try to have sex with her at least until shes really comfortable with you a few weeks 2 to 3 or if she makes advances that are hay lets do it.And on the 2 week ask her out for coffee or movie.Ask on week 3 if shes feeling like your going to fast or just the right speed,if your going steady.If she likes it then ask her if she wonts to go to the next levil and make sure she doesnt see this b/c you'll loose her before you blink. If you have a class with them then you can ask her all the questions above with out her feeling uncomfortable and you could be study buddys to make a foundation or if you know her subjects well you could help her and then ask her out to dinner,or a movie. And if your a little hotty you could just introduce your self and ask her out for lunch or coffee and your treat.You can even say you look familliar but I dont know from were and start a conversation.And if all els fails witch it really shouldn't,say hay my name is ....and I was wondering if (smerk)you'd like to go out to lunch I'll pay. Usually I dont think about it I just wing it but I'm one with words. Some can do it and others cannot,force your self into it,and wing it if all slips from your mind make a small chat say I have to go and have a paper with a pen just in case she doesn't have a cell or if its not on her.
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A
male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (3 March 2009):
You are young and starting out so they way you are feeling is perfectly fine. You just need to try and get past your shyness. Maybe not aim for sex, but just to talk to girls so you get more comfortable with that to start with.
If it is just the introduction part you have trouble with becuase you are shy then maybe you should try a different direction - such as a dating site on the Internet? That way you can talk online first, which you might find less daunting, and then when you meet you will already know a bit about each other to be able to more easily have a conversation.
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