A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Well, I Was with this boy before but my uncle went and told lies about him to my mam so my mam started not to like him, when i broke up with him i cant stop thinking of him i really want him back but i just dont know how to explain it to my mam so that she will let me get back with him what could i say to her? xx
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (5 October 2009):
 I am inclined to question myself why you are so certain the boy is not 18, as you are unsure of his age yourself.
However, I often believe that open and honest communication is pretty much the only way to go. You can encourage your mother to listen to you by behaving a mature manner when you have the discussion.
Here is how I would handle it.
1) Talk to the boy. Ask him why he thinks your uncle would lie? Maybe he will offer some insight you don't have at the moment. Ask him also, if you can discuss it with your mother, if he'd be interested in giving you another chance?
2) Tell your mother that you would like to talk with her about something important to you. Tell her you would like her to let you know when she is free and doesn't have a lot of other things on her mind (is not paying bills, hasn’t had a terrible day at work, etc.).
3) In a non-accusatory tone, without whining or arguing or saying things like, "You don't understand (or care about) me," explain to her that your uncle has been mistaken (do not accuse him of lying). You understand and appreciate that she is trying to look out for you, but you would like to have another chance to date this boy. Ask her if you can work towards a compromise that meets her needs and assures her it is safe to allow you to date him.
For example, "you were thinking you could" invite him to dinner so she can meet him and talk to him, or have him visit you when she is available to chaperone (watching DVDs or doing homework in the living room).
She may decide against a compromise this time. If this occurs, don't be too angry with her. It's important that you realize she is doing the best she can for you and that any decision she makes is out of love… and it may take you a few years to see it, but she just might be right, even if she has come to the right conclusion based on inaccurate information.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Summer1951 +, writes (5 October 2009):
Why does your uncle have an interest in whom you are dating? You need to speak with your Mum and ask her why he is telling lies about your boyfriend and get her to understand that you are sensible and if you find out he is not good enough for you, you will stop seeing him.
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A
female
reader, Summer1951 +, writes (5 October 2009):
You have to ask yourself why your mother does't like your boyfriend. Is she just being unreasonable and doesnt like the look of him or is there a reason. Find out how your mother feels, act grown up and ask her in a rational way and it might make the path for a happy relationship for you and your mother and also you and your boyfriend
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): *sister's daughter
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): You still need to explain what possible motivation your Uncle would have to lie?
Did he say it in passing to your mam or did he make a big deal out of it?
There's every possibility that he's telling the truth and it's the boy that's lying. I mean which is he? 15 or 16?
Sounds to me like you don't really know. I'd trust a family member if I were you, you're Uncle has nothing to gain by making his sister's sad so why would he lie? Perhaps he knows more about this guy than you do and just wants to protect his niece.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): You need to go into a bit more detail or we can't give you any worthwhile advice.
How do you know your uncle told lies to your mam?
What were the lies?
Why would he lie to her?
How can you be sure they were lies?
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A
female
reader, Miss. communication +, writes (5 October 2009):
 you have a very complicated problem. as a girl of the same age group and surprisingly someone thats been through something along those lines. my advice to you is to tell your mum that your uncle was lying explain and ask the boy if he will give you a second chance.
signed
Miss. Communication
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe lies were that he was older than he was like hes 15 16 but my uncle was sayin 18 n tht n tht hes a trouble maker but he isnt my uncle doesnt even known the ladd plus my uncle hasnt bovered wif me in my life so why wud he chose now to be concerned wen theres nothing to be concerned about?
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (5 October 2009):
How do you know they were lies?
It's hard to help because we don't know what the "lies" were and what the truth of them are.
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