A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright, so I'm having soo many problems with my boyfriend right now. I'm bored of our sex and he can't really give me an orgasm anymore. I asked him if we could try a threesome and he got really really pissed. He asked who I'd choose and I told him the name of one of my really close friends and he got even more mad. We have been arguing for almost 7 hours yesterday and I regret saying it even though I want to do it.He told me I gotta build up his trust to me again and that he thinks I'm a slut now.. I never cheated on him and never would. He is so jealous all the time but he thinks it's "okay" to invite a girl into his house and offer her a drink with alcohol and then hang out at the beach without anything happening. He told me she flirted with him but he ignored it.I admit I've had several times where I just wanted to end it with him since he call me like ten times a day asking what I'm doing. I even got a warning at work.I've told him more than once that he's too jealous, and he keeps talking about his ex and mentions a lot of things I do is what she did. We had some good foreplay yesterday but right before we're about to do it he tells me I moan like his ex and that I remind him a lot of her.. It was a total mood-killer and I got so pissed off. What am I supposed to do? We used to be in love and now it's like it's going downhill.
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at work, flirt, foreplay, his ex, jealous, orgasm, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 August 2011):
 How much time do you spend trying to understand the other one's point of view? There's a lot of individual complaints from both sides that are fairly easy to understand as an outsider; I'm wondering why you are defensive and can't see his side of things, as well as wondering why he's possessive and can't see your perspective.
So do you spend 5, 10, 20 minutes, maybe even an hour, just trying to listen to and explain each other's feelings?
Do you want to save the relationship or are you just trying to decide when to end things?
Telling a man he's crap in bed and then telling him you want to bring someone else into bed isn't a good way to enhance your sex life or intimacy. You know that.
Telling a woman she reminds you of your ex in bed in the way she sounds and moans isn't a good way to enhance your sex life or intimacy. He knows that.
So the real question is, why are you pushing each other's buttons? Why are you deliberately provoking one another into anger?
My guess is that you really aren't ready for the commitment and work that it takes to build a relationship. It's easy to have the fun lovey-dovey stuff and the rompy sex bit; it's much harder to learn to speak the other's love language. Maybe the best thing you can do is to be single for a while and mature for a bit. Then when you meet the right guy, you'll be willing to put in the work and not hurt his feelings by telling him you need another person in bed with you, especially another person with whom you are close.
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