A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well this is what I got. My girlfriend and me are getting married next year hopefully. She will every once in a while go out with a girl friend and go to parties and what not. I know she loves sex this trust me i know, we both do we are very healthy sexually in our relationship but also in every other factor. We are both very happy. We are together probably 85% of the time unless we are at school or I am working. Most the time were together. She tell me she loves me all the time and she always tells me I'm amazing and she could not ask for more, that she is so happy, and that if she is away from me for more than a few minutes she cannot stop thinking about me. She is on probation so as far as i know she is not drinking at these parties. When she goes to these parties i always feel sick and nervous like she is cheating on me. Any ideas. I feel like she know i don't know no one at these parties and she could get away with it. Just curious what ya'll think.Thanks Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (17 April 2010):
 You're happy, spend most of your time together and have a healthy sex life, yet the few times she's away you think she's cheating? Just because she enjoys sex doesn't mean she has to get it from random guys at parties; even you must know that your fears are not rational. If she has given you no reason to distrust her, you need to put your insecurities to bed. Otherwise, like Rambini said, she's going to start feeling suffocated and you're going to lose her.
A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 i think you either need to accept that these feelings are your problem not hers, and ignore them, or you need to leave her. trust is PARAMOUNT in a relationship, and if you cannot trust her you should not be with her. she has given you absolutely no reason to distrust her, and yet you still do. she is young and has every right to go to parties and have fun, and if you get jealous or hamper her fun because of your own insecurites you will only push her away and she will end up leaving you because she will feel suffocated.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 April 2010):
 These feelings stem from "real or imagined" fear. Real stem from changes of behaviors displayed by a partner, such as from party to party, may seem to be more and more distant. Imagined stem from the possibility of something happening. But, when assuming from an imagined state, you'd then have to review what is causing you distrust in your gal.
It use to be simple for me to distrust those I'd been with in a relationship, not because of actions they did, but actions others had in past relationships. This, however, is punishing the new for something they had nothing to do with. Once realizing this, it became easier to trust, and to be and treat others as individuals, and not as "behaviors" experienced.
It'd talk with her, not accusing her, but opening up conversation to express your concern. You feel this way, so it is yours and not hers. She may not know at what depth these feelings dwell within you, so opening up this conversation can take each of you to an understanding of what is going on. I hope this helps you, take care.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 April 2010):
You're basing this on nothing but gut instinct, without a shred of evidence. The worst thing is that it's often gut instinct that is right, whereas evidence can be misleading. I think it's worth going to one of these parties yourself to see what happens, and very carefully finding out what's happening. Before you can do anything, you must have evidence.
...............................
A
female
reader, ohbabycakesxx +, writes (17 April 2010):
Trust your instinct. You're feeling sick probably because your body knows that something's up. Even though she may not be full out cheating, she may be doing something you're uncomfortable with. Either go to a party and see what she does, or talk to her. But talking to her might lead to accusations, so be careful if you choose the latter.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): Sweetie, women have that sense that tells us when the one we love is being less than faithful to us. Sometimes we listen and sometimes we don't. More ofen than not that voice in your head is right. Talk to her.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): i think u should go with her to one of theese parties and c for urself u shouldnt stress but everytime i have a gut feeling im usually right so idk it doesnt seem like u have a reason not to trust her so maybe ur just overthinking it all but best advice i could give is ask if u can go to a partie w/ her
...............................
|
