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I feel she's changed, and now it's making me feel very insecure. What should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 August 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been seeing my girlfriend for about 6 months now. Since she got back from holiday she has been different. We were very much in love. Telling each other every day how we felt. Since she has been back we have been different.

She doesn't tell me how she feels any more. Because of this change I am very insecure and when I try to tell her my feelings she says it is my fault for being so insecure. But im so insecure because we don't communicate in the way that we used to.

When i tell her how I feel she says "thats sweet". Where as before she would respond in the same manner saying she loved me too and misses me lots.

I really cant tell if its my fault or she has changed. I dont want to break up with her but she is making me unhappy. Im constantly feeling like it is my fault. well, thats how she makes me feel.

Im not sure if there is any hope. What should I do???

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008):

Sounds like she cheated on you. Sorry to bring up a new problem but, you did say she changed when she came back from vacation right? Will Women usually "change" like the way you say when they have sex with another partner. Either this or she just realized that for some reason she doesn't like you as much as she thought. I really do think she met someone else or something else happened that was profound enough for her to change on you. Ether way its not ur fault, its hers for not being open with you and communicating. If she keeps acting like this, break up with her.

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A female reader, CharmmyKitty United States +, writes (1 August 2008):

CharmmyKitty agony auntIt seems like your in that point of your realtionship where you get past the exciting, lovey-dovey stage. (Or at least she has). And she might be re-evaluating things. Doesn't mean she wants to break up, she just might need you to tone it down a bit. Because if you're unsure, insecurity and over the top affection from the other person can be a real turn off.

It's hard to say just by reading, but if I were you, I'd pull back a little. Turn the tables, so to say. Don't call as much, give her a little "space" and ration the "I love you's." See if she picks up the slack or not. How she reacts should give you a good indication of how she really feels.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008):

I am sorry to say I felt she want to end it up.

Do you think she is depressed or having some problems?

I would suggest you to ask her what's going on. But you need to give her enough space. Don't keep asking. It will be nice if she tell you when she is ready, if she remained silent, I feel she already give you an answer.

You deserve to know whats happening. She shouldn't be playing games if she is committed in the relationship.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Good luck.

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A female reader, dizzie United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2008):

im not the one to tell you how u should act.but to me she is giving you all the signals thats this is dying. u never said how old she was but from the message u have left there is very little there. you are the one that is making all the moves and she is the one that is holding bac

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