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anonymous
writes: I'm wondering whether I'm making a fuss over nothing, as it's hard to get men's honest opinions on this: should I be bothered that my partner "just doesn't like" making love during my periods. For the record, he is not squeamish about anything else and the above quotation is his only comment on this. I feel that a more emotionally mature man might realise there is nothing dirty about it. I feel that my periods aren't just for my benefit and they aren't something I should have to live with on my own for the rest of my child bearing years! I find this rejection hurtful too, and so it is getting me down. Am I expecting too much?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): Don't feel rejectet,it's a problem with men being able to accept human nature and all aspects of women. It not you, it's him.
Some men have been raised to think its gross or just plain nasty. When you find the right guy, he will not care and will make love to you no matter.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): None of my male friends likes getting down when the girl is bleeding. It's just gross. If you only want a guy who is going to do that then you're going to be alone for much of your life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007): That is absurd that someone should feel rejected because her man does not want to have sex with her when she has her period. I cannot imagine, being a woman, why anyone would desire sex while menstruating. I mean, if you both desire it, so be it, but I certainly would not want to do that and even if I did I sure would understand why somone may not want to do that. There other ways to show love other than this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): I think you are being over sensitive about this. Many women do not like having sex during the period because it's messy and not attractive. If you have a healthy relationship the other 3 weeks of the month, just deal.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007): I dont understand the problem if you are in a longterm loving relationship and this gives you partner pleasure, why not? personaly i enjoy intercourse and oral sex during this time, i do not believe in any special preparation sutch as showers or douching as this takes away the spontinaity. just enjoy the moment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): not many men like to have sex when your girlfriend is on her period because it is a messy job me myself think it is better because you have less chance of having a baby but there is always that risk.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007): First, let me say that if you feel rejected in an ongoing relationship and you haven't said it out loud, there is already trouble.
Yes, i too find that i am more aroused at this time of month. I am a bit self concious about it and don't like to make love during heavy flow. My partner however, is one of those unusual men who is attracted to my natural smells. When i bleed, he's in heat! I'm literally fighting him off and on occasion have let him go down. So it is definately a personal thing. I was taught as a child that it was sinful, i was told in my marriage that it was disgusting and Gods punishment to women. It has taken several years for this wonderful man to convince me that my body and all that it is capable of is beautiful. There are many religious associations with our cycles. Past native cultures worshiped women during it, some christian religions view sex during it as sinful. So to make a judgement based on this is not really fair. If you love your partner its significance will become less important, and you may be surprised. Sometimes our hangups and our own self centerdness become our own demise. Ask yourself if you are content with your partner as a lover during the rest of the month? If you are more prone to arousal at this time of month perhaps you can share that? If he is still squeemish, and you are open, you may learn more about why? Don't make assumptions and don't take things personally. Most often, other peoples hangups have nothing to do with us. Also, a night of being selfless can be incredibly self serving. Turn yourself on by turning him on. Give him a hand job, oral, a back rub, and you may find it satisfying in a different way. What is incredibly important here is respect. respect his feelings, and you will grow together. you may change how you feel about the situation, or he may change, but without respect you have nothing to work with.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): Every time I gave an "O" to my girlfriend during this time, she said it helped with her cramps and put her in a better mood. I usually would go and wash the tool or follow up with a shower. No big deal.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): To respond to the comment from June 17, 05- YOU CAN still get pregnant during your period!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): What is it, three to ten days of a time from 30 days a month?
Really, to think there are some people in marriages that don't have sex and it is not because of the monthly cycle.
I think not having sex for a third of an amount of time isn't anything to become offended by.
It really is preference.
Eventhough some women see it as no big deal and some men share this point of view; your man doesn't.
It's compromise time it would seem.
I wouldn't get hung up on this.
Still, it is good advice to talk to him about any concerns you are having. Just because he doesn't share your same view doesn't mean he is some insensitive ogre.
I answered something similar to this but in that scenario...it seemed like she was unsure of having sex while on her period and didn't know if she should have sex on her period and if she could, how and when.
It's natural to desire sex at that time as I too get easily aroused at that time of the month.
If it is a heavy flow the whole time; just do the shower thing or respect your man's opinion and hold off.
Have you tried having a shower with him and letting him watch you masterbate? You can still have enjoyment if he doesn't want penetration sex. Perhaps giving him a hand job in the shower will coax him to reconsider.
Hope all works out.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): Wow, that'd be really messy and mildly uncomfortable, I think. My boyfriend is OCD, he'd NEVER go for that. XP Not all guys like that. Most of the guys I know wouldn't want to. He's not being a baby, it's just something that doesn't interest him. Don't make him do that if he doesn't want to. Y'know peer pressure? Yeah, even when you're an adult it exists. He'll resent you for it.
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (4 January 2006):
 i think that this would really get to me because i am always unbearably horny on my period! ,but maybe you could suggest sex in the shower when 'on' to minimise mess and maybe move on from there
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male
reader, SKYRAIDER_82 +, writes (4 January 2006):
I read some of the responses, and I am quite amazed at some of the responses. One says to douche, which is not recommended for women. One says he does't want to earn his "red wings", lol, that my friend is a bit more than intercourse during a period. Getting to your question. I really believe that in the context of a loving monogomous relationship that both parties should want to make the other sexually satisfied. I personally see absolutely noting wrong with sex during this time of the month. Communicate your wants and desires, and if you get no play, and it is important to you, it may be time to start looking for a partner who wants to make you happy sexually, but it is a two way street.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2006): He is being a prudish baby. To be in love with a person is to make them happy "all" the time. I may balk at oral sex during this time, but intercourse is perfectly fine.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (9 August 2005):
If the relationship is fine in every other way then i wouldnt worry about this. Im sure he does appreciate all the benefits of your periods but its not fair to make him do something he doesnt want to. If i was a man, i wouldnt want to do it either!!
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female
reader, Drlove +, writes (8 July 2005):
I don't know . I can say I wouldn't take it personally if I were you. I love my lady and she loves me and we have a great sex life but "earning red wings" isn't something I want to do. I might add that the idea doesnt appeal to her either.It's a matter of opinion really, some folks like anal, some don't, some people are into "golden showers" etc, while many are not. (personally I don't get that one either) but some people dig it. he may be like me and it may be a hygeine/cleanliness thing as in it's kind of gross/messy whatever.communication is key find out why not and I'm sure if you love each other it will all work out :)Best of luck to you both
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2005): Why not try oral, manual, or anal sex? You can douche before having sex, and remove most of the blood and tissue that may be present in the vagina. A towel and washcloth by the bed, or wherever you make love is appropriate. Many women get very horny when they have their periods, and enjoy slow vaginal intercourse to orgasm at this time. The fact that they don't have to worry about pregnancy allows them to truly relax, and this may be a psychological reason for some of the horniness! Talk to your BF. Tell him how much you want to have sex with him at these times. Do it inthe shower if necessary so that any blood is washed away quickly. Tell him to grow up. Your pleasuring is his major role in your relationship. Find out just exactly is the part of having sex during your period that offends him. Then work it out. I have had some of the best sex with my wife during her period, with the only caution being that we have to be careful not move too fast, and use enough lubricant so that she does not get sore. phv
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reader, sweetypie +, writes (15 June 2005):
Never feel rejected because of this. Put yourself in his shoes. I wouldnt even want to have sex during my period! imagine the mess! blood stains on the sheets! blood all over his penis and your legs and stuff. Im not suprised he doesnt want to. Just be understanding. its certainly not him rejecting you! im sure you can wait till your period is over.
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reader, robinlovescena +, writes (15 June 2005):
 Ok, Being on your period while having sex or making love is disgusting to most men. Just imagine it.... the two of you are having sex. you are done now. the both of you are covers with the blood that came straight from your "pootang". That is what i like to call the vagina. Anyways, most men think that it is downright disgusting. Be patient. I am sure that you can wait 5-7 days without having sexual contact. If he still backs down from kissing, hugging, or cuddling than i guess he is just afraid of the girls' body. its natural to be on your period. it is not your fault whatsoever that it is disgusting, but you must live with it. If he rejects from like fingering or regular sex than i dont exactly blame him. But its not like you can control when you have your period or how long it lasts but you can control whether you have sex or not. Being on your period gives you a great advantage of giving pregnant or you have sexual intercourse. dont ask me how, i dont have that much time on my hands to explain it to you, but i suggest not having sex during your period. Blood may make him sqeamish or he may even faint from him. wanting him to have sex with you while you are on it is almost as if making him doing something he doesnt want to do. do not take it personal. Have sex while not being on your period. before or after your period, not during!!!! If it gives you some sort of sick pleasure or something than you should someone that will let you have your sick-minded pleasures. good luck ~Robin~ aka advice gurl
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reader, communicatrix +, writes (15 June 2005):
 I'm not sure what you mean by your periods not being just for your benefit--do you feel that since menstruation is part of the cycle that makes childbirth possible, therefore your partner (with whom I'm assuming you want to have children) benefits indirectly from this period, therefore he should get down with the idea of sex during your period?
If so, I guess I see your point, but I really don't see this is a quid pro quo situation, but one of likemindedness and dealbreakers. If it is really important to you to have a partner that is cool with engaging in sex while you're on your cycle, then you need to let your partner know that. And if he's really *not* cool with it and it really *is* important to you, well--10 years ago I probably would have said "Get over it" but now I'd have to say you might need to find a new partner.
Bottom line: you are not making "a fuss over nothing" if this is a truly meaningful issue to you. Just be clear on that before you have a serious talk about it with your partner.
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (15 June 2005):
 Hey, some men really dont like it, some men view that its the womans time of the month and lets you have your privacy. You should respect that he doesnt want to have sex with at this time as he just doesnt feel right. There isnt anything wrong in him saying no, hes just being honest that he would rather not do it when you are having a period. If he is okay about sex the rest of the time then i dont see what you should be worrying about. To him he obviously feels that your lovemaking is better when you are not having a period and less messy too!.. Just be cool about its not because he is rejecting you hes just chosen to not have sex on your period, there isnt any harm in it hes just not as keen as you are. If this is really still an issue for you, maybe suggest some intimate cuddling at this time of the month rather than having sex, that way he still shows he cares for you by cuddling and kissing, and that way you wont feel so rejected.
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reader, irishcurlysue +, writes (14 June 2005):
No you're not expecting too much. It's only natural to feel rejected and unwanted in such a situation. I think while many men don't mind having sex during a woman's period, there are men who don't like to do so. Some men are a little frightened about the prospect, something to do, I think, with the stigma that is attached to having a period. Also, there are some men who feel concerned that a woman during her period might feel discomfort or not enjoy sex. On the other hand, maybe your boyfriend just doesn't want to because he hasn't experienced that before and is a little unsure about what to expect and if it will make a mess, which of course it can, but not as much as men think.I would talk to your boyfriend and explain how you're feeling a little bit hurt, rejected and puzzled because her doesn't wantr to have sex with you during your period. Ask him why he doesn't like it and perhaps explain to him that it is no different to having sex normally, except it's a little messy.I'm sure your boyfriend does love you. Some people just have a phobia of things, just like some girls don't like to give oral sex. Talk to him about it and I'm sure things will become clearer and as soon as he knows how strongly you feel and how good it feels he'll be hopping into bed with you in a flash! Good luck!
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