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anonymous
writes: I found out I was pregnant five weeks ago and I only told my boyfriend three weeks ago. He was fine about it until his mum and dad found out. Now he will not answer my calls and when he rings he is drunk. Is this his way of saying that he doesn't want a family because of what his parents have said or is it because I waited before I told him?
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reader, Wendyg  +, writes (15 June 2005):
 Hes obviously feeling under pressure, and at the moment his way of dealing with it is to pretend that it doesnt exist.. i.e not speak to you or be with you then the problem will disappear. Now, I dont know how old you guys are but im guessing that you quite young... maybe his parents have said some things to him to make him feel bad something along the lines of she has to get rid of it blah blah and he now feels torn... this is something huge that will change all of your lives.... you do need to actually sit down and talk to him about at some stage, maybe give it a couple of weeks and see how the land lies then... im assuming you are going to keep the baby, and this in itself will be hard going without the support of the father, but netherless can be done. Give him some time to come to terms with the idea and then maybe sit and chat with him. You may then see how he is feeling, hes probly really mixed up and not ready for such a big step, but hes got to realise that its happend and he has to deal with it. Maybe even go to his house whilst his parents are there, maybe chat to him first and then all sit together, you all have to be adult about this for the sake of the baby. Do whats best for you and your child, you are the one thats carrying it, and if you really cant get your man to stand by you or speak to you then you will need the support of your family and friends, but lets hope that he is just taking time to adjust as its a shock and will eventually come round and let you talk to him about it. Take care and Good luck.
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reader, petenjay +, writes (15 June 2005):
I think because of the reaction his parents had about the two of you having a baby would have a lot to play in his behaviour. Seems like he's been told something that he doesn't like and he is just trying to get some space. Don't be to impatient he will come to you
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reader, blue_angel +, writes (15 June 2005):
It sounds like he's having a hard time dealing with the thought of having the child. His parents probably weren't very pleased with him, but they'll come around. No one can resist a new baby. I don't think he's reacting this way because you waited two weeks to tell him so don't blame yourself for that. You probably needed some time to adjust yourself. Give him a little time to adjust to the thought too. I think women feel an almost instant connection to having a baby - even an unexpected one. Guys seem to have a harder time connecting and I think they feel more pressure to be providers or perhaps they just don't handle it as well. I've been through this personally and my guy did eventually come around so hang in there. Best of luck to you.
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