A
female
age
30-35,
*abyPorsh
writes:I have been with my bf for like 8 months now and it was a long distance relationship at first for a month and a half, he was in isolation and I was always there for him, emotionally since we were far apart and he told me he'll never forget the support I gave him at that time for as long as he lives, even told me sometimes I'm his only drive in life, that was then, now, a few months later, things are all good with him, his problems ar sorted so basically he's fine, except for the inner deeper wounds. Well the thing is I don't feel as appreciated any more.He doesn't make the effort any more, he thinks I talk too much and am "childish", I called him the other nite and asked him why he hasn't called for two days, he said he's been dealing with some issues and doesn't want to "flood" me with his problems, I said ok I understand but next time he must let me know he's in a bad space so I can be at peace and know why he's quiet, that made him snap and say I always have something to say and my reactions are annoying, then hung up on me and he didn't answer when I tried calling again so I went to bed and slept.The next morning he called and was all jokes and said we act like a married couple always fighting and he wanted to meet up that day but I was busy and couldn't see him, he said ok it wasn't a problem, I called that night and made small talk, he said he was driving so he had to go I said okay I love you, he said "OK". WHAT'S DAT?? He doesn't kiss me as often any more also, I really feel unappreciated and that he wants to control me, if things don't go his way he uses passive aggression, any advice? btw he's 22 and I'm 18.
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hasn't called, I love you, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BabyPorsh +, writes (25 November 2008):
BabyPorsh is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanx for all the responds guys:)yes miss Porter i know i have to talk to him, and yes i DO try. I went to see him after work yesterday and he was fine and happy to see me, he always is unless hes doing the passive aggression thingy!
Ok thers this note i gave him where i had written down what i felt and how much his behavior hurts me and everything i hate that he does, i asked him where it was and just by mentioning it i could tell he was touched, he then said he does't know what to say coz clearly i don't understand & he tries opening up to me but it's clear that "we are not on the same level of thinking" I looked at him like wat? and thats wen he said no he doesn't mean it in a bad way. I was really offended and asked how can you say a bad thing and "not mean it in a bad way"...thats when he kept quiet, he never said a word after, he shut down and told myself i'll return the favour, i also kept quiet and didn't try to make him talk like i always do. So we kept quiet all the way until he got me home, he said thanx 4 the fries i had bought him earlier, i said okay...he repeated the "thank you" i repeated the okay...
With this scenario i'm trying to show you what always happens when i try to talk to him, he just stops responding, a lot of similar scenarios have happened, It's frustrating really!
A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (24 November 2008):
 Hi there. I think you have to let him know that you are not happy with your existing communication pattern. You have to tell him you are not happy, but don't be vague, tell him exactly what you find upsetting - that he snaps at you, that he can be short and rude, that kind of thing. You also need to get a certain point across - that you will not tolerate unrespectful treatment, you have to be treated with respect, since he is your boyfriend it is part of his duties to make sure that you are happy with things between you two. He has to understand that if he will not try harder it wont be long till you will be on your way of finding a more willing man.
All the best.
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A
male
reader, cockainis  +, writes (24 November 2008):
 There a millions of other men out there. I say this because you have no profound commitment with each other yet.
If and when you find yourself in a profound commitment, then you will have to negate what I said about the millions of men out there. In a commitment, there will always be "someone better" who will pop up, but you will have to stay contented by then.
The mere fact that you are writing that way about him here means that you are better off looking around for mr. right. Writing here is only the first step, but at least you had taken it.
"A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step" - Chinese proverb
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): hon3y..i sense danger,all the signs are there,you need to stop feeling sorry for this guy and his issues.Yes he need counseling and yes i agree with the other reply.Open your eyes...if he doesn't get the help he needs,then several months later this could become an abusive relationship.
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A
female
reader, BabyPorsh +, writes (24 November 2008):
BabyPorsh is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx talktoomuch, he is very moody yes and has been through so much, both with family and past relationships, once he's accused me of cheating and when i told him how shattered i was bcoz of his accussation he apologised and said he just don't wanna repeat past mistakes of giving his heart to someone only for them to abuse it...
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