A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My finance has been living with me and my 2 children for about a year and a half. We make the same amount of money but he only pays for food. He says he won't help with the house payment and utilities because I would be paying for them if he wasn't living there. This really upsets me. Now he wants his 18 yr old son to move in and go to college. I feel like he has money issues. His bank account gets bigger and bigger because he lives with me and has no debt. Am I right or is he?
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (17 April 2010):
 Why are You are allowing this to happen. How can you let a man steal from your children, because thinks of it this way whatever money you had left over would go to your kids right, well I guess not because you prefer wasting it on your man. You are allowing yourself to get step on by a freeloader. Your kids will ended up suffering because of you because you accepted him there. You accepted this situation and you will be taking from your children to keep your man. Stand up for yourself don't allow this to happen and if you do allow it than don't play the victim, because the only victims here are your kids that get less because their mommy wants to be sugar momma to this man.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (2 April 2010):
What a loser!! Why do you want to be with this selfish man? Serve him notice immediately! OUT!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Demand for your rights and if he cannot agree , tell him to ship out. You will sublet his room to others who would pay.
He gets all those nice and clean facilities at your house and he won't pay ,then he needs to sleep on the streets.
Either split everything down the middle or no go.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 April 2010):
This is the sign of a man who will use you. You are being used. He lives in your house, so he has to pay his way. If he won't then he can't live there. You're not his mother. Don't be treated as such and really think again about if this is a man you want to marry.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Listen to the writers above. They are all spot on.
What he doesn't use the utilities or anything? This guy is a freeloader and that won't change. And maybe this is just me but I also don't think it's a good idea to move a man into your house while you have minor children under your roof. Bad example. Unload this guy sooner if not later! Find a real man.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 April 2010):
 This is the man you're planning to marry? He's benefitting from your house and your utilities and he won't contribute? Really?
Did you discuss all this before he moved in? Why did he move in anyway, was he short on money?
I guess you could tell him that yes, it's true, you would be paying those things whether he was there or not, so perhaps he could move out so you could get a tenant who would actually contribute to the household.
Or perhaps it's his turn to buy a house and you'll be happy to pay your share of food there too, while you rent out the house you're in.
I think it's time to reconsider the entire deal. You both need to be happy with whatever financial arrangement you decide is fair to both of you. To me, it doesn't sound fair to you. You're pulling all the utilities too? He gets to shower with hot water and be warm and not contribute? Sounds wrong to me.
Time to renegotiate. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Agony Auntie Smiles +, writes (2 April 2010):
 I asked Wilma Proops what she would do. She said she'd get rid of him as he has shown himself to be a selfish user. He is playing you for a fool and taking what your children should be having. Don't you think you owe them more and you are setting them a bad example?
You have proof that you can manage financially without him. If he doesn't start paying rent immediately change the locks and chuck him out. If you allow his son to move in you should go and see a doctor
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Uhhhhhhhh WHAT THE .....?That is a stupid ass argument conidering HE LIVES THERE.If he didn't live there, is just like saying, "Well if I were jesus, you would be paying for my glorious company..."Well hey, hes not Jesus and he CERTAINLY is living there.If he doesn't pay, then he should leave. I say leave him.He wants a sugar mama.You aren't a charity. You are a person with money problems.If he can't understand that, then leave.Fiances are supposed to help out.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (2 April 2010):
 He is wrong! Just because you'd have the same housing bills if he wasn't there doesn't mean he gets to live for free. If he didn't live with you, he's have to pay a rent/mortgage and utilities someplace, so there is no reason why he can't help you If his son moves in, there is absolutely no way you can allow both of them to freeload off of you, because that's basically what he's doing right now.
If he has money problems, this is something you need to get straightened out before you get married.
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