A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I hope someone can help me. I feel like I’ve been played, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I reunited with an old female friend on facebook, and we started out as friends. She was telling me about her relationship problems with her current bf, how she wants to break up with him, but because they’ve been together for 4 years their lives are so jumbled up that it was difficult to make it happen. I had feelings for her but I did not reveal anything since she was in a relationship. I just provided a shoulder to cry on whenever she needed it, which was quite often. A few months into our new found friendship I decided to take a job out of state, and I told her about. This is when she broke down and told me not to leave, and that she loves me and thinks I’m the best. She told me she is working to break up with her bf and asked me to stay. I did.I’ve been still hanging out with her, but I refused to even hold her hands while she was in a relationship. She said she is working on the break up. I go on a business trip and my friends decided to introduce me to some single girls. I told myself that I’m a good guy, and I need to give myself a chance to find happiness. I told the girl back home that I’m letting her go and I wish she can resolve her issues with her current bf.She calls me the next day and tells me she’s broken up with him. I got together with her not to long after.I later find out through her friends who added me on facebook that during that period where she said that her bf was abusive, and that she thought I was the best and wanted to be with me so much, that she went on trips with him. She even admitted to be sexually intimate with him. If she wanted to break up with him, why go on trips and sleep with him? Why say that you want me and told me not to take that job just to turn around and do this?I’ve been trying to get over it. There are times where I forget, but then all of a sudden some events would trigger all the images coming back. She tells me she doesn’t party and doesn’t drink. However, her friend’s facebook pictures shows that she is drinking and kissing her bf during the time she said she wanted to be with me. She told me she has changed, and she is not the same person now. I do believe people change, but those images where taken less than a year ago. Can people really change when you are in your 30s?I feel like I’ve been played. I just can’t get over it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dyeruz  +, writes (26 July 2010):
It's especially cruel since you gave up a job to be with her. Look my friend actions speak louder than words, and she's full of hot air, all nonsense about I've changed I'm a different person now is waffle. You have the facts in your possession but you are being played like a piano but either lust or love are clouding your judgement. Any girl fickle enough to mess about with someone s life enough to allow them to give up work is someone not to be trusted. Even if she's with you, she's been cheating on her boyfriend who's probably blissfully unaware anything is wrong but to you it feel like she's cheating on you because she's got problems, blah, blah, waffle. Get rid and find a girl worthy of your goodness. Good luck!
A
male
reader, thereyago +, writes (26 July 2010):
she is wasting your valuble time and exposing you to emotional pain and STDs. Get out there and date...she is keeping you around as a back up and realized she was going to have to put out to keep you around, but lied to get around your rules. Think samson and dahlila ( and I am not religious)
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A
male
reader, hendrick88 +, writes (26 July 2010):
the truth is she still wants him but it seems like she wants you to. this is what we would call "selfish" not caring for your feelings. its time for you to ask yourself, can i live with this thought that i might have been played? if you trust her then let it go. but if you dont then its time for you to be happy and enjoy your life. its her loss not yours!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): Your dealing with a very insecure girl here. I'd run as fast as I could from her.
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A
female
reader, Zoe-louisexx +, writes (25 July 2010):
 This is kinda awkward to answer. Tbh i think you need to talk to this girl for yourself and not get information from friends and then believe it. On the other hand yes i think she may of played you. But if your not going out anymore try and find a new relationship with someone that will make you happy and soon you should forget, however if your still ging out maybe talk to her and fully understand everything with her ex/bf. If she said she loves you she should tell you the truth if not and you still get other storys from other people with evidence, tell her and see how she reacts. :)x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): Sounds like you were played and lead on. Ignore her calls and texts; she doesn't deserve to be with you.
Just a point to ponder: A job will never wake up one morning, roll over and say, "I don't love you anymore."
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