A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello!I went up a year at school and acquired a new teacher, not being arrogant I'm traditional with true morals old fashioned yes, however this seamed/seems to attract such teacher unintentionally.She is single and a genuine nice (young) lady.Since meeting her the following has happened (in order):Firstly after being polite to her she was like, 'youve really impressed me', in front of the class everyone was shocked.Then later I made a comment regarding her style of work that could be perceived as rude and corrected it before she responded, she replied with 'oh your a smooth talker'????Further into the course she would smile at me etc, with a seductive look and big grin, my peers would look with a cringey face later on after she turned away.However the worst was when she just smiled at me in a lesson and then a peer asked, 'why are you smiling?' and she replied, 'i can do what I like' and she gave me that seductive look.Scariest of all was she commented on a speciality she does at home, I said shame we don't know you would like to sample such specialty as a complement, then she says 'oh you can come and try (the specialty food) after the course.She invited only myself.She winks and smiles etc.Does she have lust for me?I don't want to sound arrogant but I find it unusual that it is only me she gives this treatment to. I assure you I'm not flirty or a tart, I feel I'm nothing to look at even.What should i do? I'm worried as she is only harmless but she is seducing me, embracing as it is I sometimes feel myself becoming erect when she behaves in such way.I shall be honest however damaging it maybe and rude - sorry for any offense, I have masturbated whilst imagining her.I'm sorry, what should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): From my point of view, do not go to her house after you've finished the course. I am becoming a teacher myself, and I think going to her house in the next year could possibly ruin not only her reputation, but her career as well. You may want her and she may want you, but who knows what could happen. You're very young, and if something does happen, it'd be illegal because of your age. It wouldn't be good for either of you. That's just an opinion coming from a soon-to-be-teacher. If you want, do as what was suggested before and go after you've grown up and graduated.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): DUDE I have the same exact problem/advantage. I have to say: My teacher has got to be THE hottest girl you have ever seen.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): If your peers are noticing she treats you differently, and suggested she is treating you in an overly affectionate fashion without your originally pointing it out, you are well within your bounds to ask her to modify her behaviour.
I would recommend writing a polite note, including examples. She may be entirely unaware how you are interpreting her actions, so this way you a) avoid speaking with her face to face alone, and 2) can discreetly address your perception of the problem.
If the problems continue, you'll have to indicate disinterest or speak to another teacher you trust.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): I say go for it just explain to her that when you are in class she can't be giveing you all thoes looks because people in the class might think something is going on. But nun-the-less go for it and have fun. You know you want her so don't wait any longer!
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A
female
reader, nicole5178  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 If you must go, go to her house after you graduate.
And even then, make sure that you want whatever could or could not happen because if you turn around later and say that she took advantage on account of your age, you'd trash both of your reputations. I personally do not frown on ex-teacher/ex-student relationships, but you really have to make up your own mind about your morals. If you were 40 and had a child in high school who went to a teacher's house in hopes of having sexual relations, how would you feel about that?
Don't worry about it for now, though. Wait out your infatuation with her, and if you still feel the same way after you've graduated, then maybe talk with her about pursuing something.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your replies, sorry I just emphasis some points.
Firstly I feel she is just a nice lady, I think maybe I remind her of someone or she identify something she likes within me that can make her flirtatious.
On a serious note she did invite me seriously to her house.
When I request, what shall I do, I should have been more specific, I'm trying to say she appears harmless to me however I'm getting comments from peers, also months after knowing her she makes me sexually desire her. I can assure you haven't misinterpreted her at all, she really changes when she is flirtatious and without a comment from myself, my peers identify and comment on such change after a study period.
My plea for advice is, shall i got her house in a years time, when I finish my course?
Thanks - apologies for any mis confusion and thanks for the repies
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): I would think that unless you have a vivid imagination, if you find yourself getting aroused when she is talking to you, then maybe she is acting a bit too sexy.
I would think a teacher is supposed to be plain and talk in a dull manner and be kind of uninteresting. Not sexy. I'm not there so I can't see it. I guess I'll have to take your word for it.
Do you think she is just being herself and perhaps you are just attracted to her so you are reading more into her body language than is really there??
I just don't know if its her or if its you. Sorry. Do you want her to want you?? Cause that's kinda what it sounds like.
For now, I wouldn't do anything. Just try to get good grades and stay out of trouble. That's about all you can do.
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A
female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (19 February 2008):
To help you out, I'll do a point by point reply:
'You impressed me': This doesn't sound suggestive at all. You should be happy about her comment instead of questioning it.
'Smooth talker': Yes, you are one. She probably was teasing you more than flirting with you, as her perception was probably that you were teasing her. I don't know the entire context or what was said, though, so I could be completely off base.
Seductive look: From what you've said about fantasizing about her, it seems as if you want her to look at you seductively, and you think she is seductive in general. She might not mean to look at you seductively; you're just mistaking her actions. What makes her look seem so seductive? If she's licking her lips or something, then yes, she is trying to seduce you. If she's just smiling, she likes you in a friendly way.
Invitation: She was just kidding. Flirting or teasing or whatever, it was meant in a non-serious way.
Winks: This is flirty, but I think you might be flirting back, no matter how unintentional it may be. In any case, this type of flirting is harmless, so don't worry.
My advice is to keep enjoying the flirting since you obviously are now. Do you really want to report her? Or do you want to flirt back? It seems like you don't want either of those things.... If it's making you uncomfortable, I would talk to her about it. Just say that you feel like you might be misinterpreting some of her actions, and you've gotten the impression that she has romantic feelings for you, and it makes you uncomfortable. She'll understand, and she won't be angry--she'll just be concerned that she's accidentally scared you. I really don't think she thinks of you romantically, though. She's just trying to be nice.
...Hope that helped you. Feel free to message me if you want to talk--I've gone through some misunderstood situations with teachers before. Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, Dr Hearme +, writes (18 February 2008):
Hello Anonymous,Oh dear.I understand that it can be difficult for you at school dealing with raging hormones because of girls your own age, without having to worry about teachers also. It does sound like this teacher is at the very least treating you differently which is unfair on you, especially if your peers have begun to notice. If she is flirting with you, this is very wrong and she could get into a lot of trouble. Don't take what you claim to be her advances, to seriously, in fact ignore them. Consentrate on doing things lads of your age do. I don't see the harm in fantasising about her, many pupils have crushes on teachers, but thats all it can ever be. Consentrate on doing well at school.If the situation became worse and you felt she was putting you in a very awkward situation or making you feel uncomfortable, you should tell an adult as soon as possible.Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): I was thinking exactly the same thing about what to do when someone is taking the piss!
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A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (18 February 2008):
First of all it is quite possible that you are reading more into this than their is. However if you continue to be concerned speak with your headmaster, school nurse, or school councillor depending on who is available. Be prepared to accept that you may have just misinterpreted her.
On the other hand, if she needs to alter her behaviour the school officials can assist her the right way.
As it does not appear that she has actually done anything that is illegal (yet) I would be very careful to report just facts and to make a clear separation from your interpretation and how it makes you feel. Be cautious making any accusations as it would be wrong to ruin her career if it was all a misunderstanding.
As they say though, if you are a child and an adult makes you feel uncomfortable in a personal way, then tell another adult.
I hope you work it out.
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