A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex broke up with me after 5 years together about 6 months ago. We had been together since I was 17. We've been sleeping together pretty much since we broke up. In the beginning he would say things like "You're a girl I'm thinking about marrying but I need some time to be on my own" and we talked about getting back together after a few months. I didn't deal well with it and acted kinda crazy (i.e. calling him names, acting anxious to just get back together, checking our, at the time, mutual phone record once). I had a particularly nasty moment when I thought he was seeing someone else and was really disrespectful to him and after that it essentially it got to the point where he doesn't really respond to my texts and we never really talk about anything, but we still see each other occasionally and just have sex and cuddle. Everytime we say it's gonna be the last time. Also, when I told him I loved him recently, he just pulled me a little closer (we were laying down together) and said "I know". I'm still very much in love with him but am beginning to try to move on and see new people. I feel like he's just using me now... how can I move on and get over this guy?
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female
reader, heartbreaker54 +, writes (30 September 2009):
you should avoid him at all costs. if he calls, do not pick up the phone under any circumstances, if he texts you don't even read the message, delete it as fast as possible. he already made it clear that he doesn't feel like you are 'the one' by seeing someone else. you are only going to hurt yourself by seeing and talking to him..only to watch him walk away. you should consider meeting new people and even dating in the near future to help you get over things.. but if you date too soon it just might make you miss him even more. give yourself time and try to build up the willpower to get rid of him for once and for all.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 September 2009):
Yep, he's using you all right. No easy way to say it. Stop all contact with him, delete his number and if he contacts you, just say it's over. Then go out with your friends and socializze, or take up a hobby that will keep you busy. When you're ready, you're heart will heal and you'll be able to go and find another guy who won't use you.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (29 September 2009):
 The only way to move on is to actually do the things that a person does when they have moved on. Stop contact. Definitely no more sex. Almost certainly don't meet in person anymore for a while. And keep the text/phone to a bare minimum. If at all possible, just don't have any contact with him at all for a long time, until you feel you are over him. Yes, it is possible to never get over someone, and then when you meet them again say five years later, it is possible that you will feel the same pain and upset all over again. But you need to move on, by ACTUALLY MOVING ON. That is the best you can do, and also the least you must do. It's pretty much the only way to move on from a relationship in which you had a lot of emotion invested.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 September 2009):
 Stop the sex, stop the calls and texting, in fact just stop everything with him. Stay busy, go out with friends, take a class, do some volunteer work, just try to keep your mind off him, whatever it takes. That's the only way to get over someone who has broken your heart. It takes time but it does get better.
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