A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone sorry if this is long just this situation is really confusing me I moved home over a year ago now three months after being here I met a man that lived very close to me I thought we would be a couple as that's what I was looking for a proper boyfriend someone to do and share things with I am a single mum and I'm so lonely anyway here's the situation we decided that for the first time we met I couldn't get a babysitter he would come round mine he then stayed for. A week with me which was lovely then he went back to his flat and we have saw each other maybe once evry couple of weeks this is not enough for me anymore I have asked him about this and what is happening with us but he just says he needs time he was with his ex a long time to which he has a daughter with so I understamd he needs time I really like him he says he likes me to and he is always looking at my flat when he walks past he never tells me he likes me though I sometimes feel as though I am being used by him the only time he has every really told me properly that he likes me is when he was drunk one time calling me his baby and babe and asking me who's girl I am things like that he has accused me a couple of times of seeing someone else even though I haven't I would never do that I would never cheat I like him to much but if I ask him what is going on he says I'm putting pressure on him when inm not I'm just wanting to know what is going on with us what do I do and also how do I ask him what is going on without him thinking I am pressuring him thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2012): He's already told you what's going on. His answer that you are 'putting pressure' on him means that he's not wanting to be in this relationship to where there is an "us." He doesn't want there to be an "us" which means that he's not game for doing this relationship thing.
he liked being around you for fun that one time, but that doesn't mean that he wants more of it. he could have had enough. that doesn't mean you did anything wrong, it's just how he feels for whatever reason, and you don't need to know his reasons. all you need to know is if he's wanting to take this further or not, and he's basically saying no.
don't wait around for him to give you the kind of answer you want to hear, or to use the exact words you need to hear. anything other than an enthusiastic response, is automatically a 'no' by default.
A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (11 January 2012):
 Don't ask him anything anymore. You're not pressuring him, he knows what he's doing and I think he doesn't want to be in anything serious. You're his neighbor, so its convenient for him. Try and date other people. Put him aside. If he comes around,fine but don't go to his place even just to say hi. Its easier said than done, but you need to ignore him. And if he does come around, don't allow him get your hopes up infact act busy - get on the phone. I'm not asking you to push him away but you don't want him to hurt you twice do you and remember you have a daughter who's also involved. Trust me the guy who's gonna truly come for you won't hassle you. It'll fall in place, he'll be all over you and your daughter. Look/Wait for him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your great answer men are so confusing
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