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female
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anonymous
writes: I started seeing my boyfriend when we were both with previous partners. We work together, but in separate offices, I'm nearly 21 and he's 31. We have been together properly for about 5 months. He has a daughter from his previous relationship and sometimes I feel very insecure about him seeing and being in contact with his ex, although he has reassured me that I have nothing to worry about as he would never go back to her as he was so unhappy. I get in moods with him very easily for no reason in particular, sometimes I just wake up feeling that way out and then I take it out on him. We haven't gone a week since being together where we haven't argued because I'm in a mood and it's ruining our relationship. We have had a massive argument about me getting in moods with him for no valid reason and taking it out on him, then always promising not to do it again and to try not to get in moods with him. He has said he doesn't want to be with me if this is how things will be and the ball is in my court to make this relationship work because I keep breaking my promises and lying to him. He has said that he doesn't trust me when I say I will try because I don't put any effort into our relationship and I'm selfish. I love him so much and he said he loves me, but I keep ruining things. We haven't had a laugh in ages and I feel like I'm ruining his life because of my moods. Please help me, I don't know what to do to start making things up to him, I dare not even go speak to him because I'm scared he will tell me that it's definatley over. I don't want to loose him because he is very important to me, what can I do to save our relationship????
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male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (25 August 2006):
 I've dated women who "got into moods" over my seeing my ex-wife and my son. I have never touched my ex-wife (nor any desire to) since we divorced more than 5 years ago, so he is probably telling you the truth when he says it is over between them. He has the right to see his daughter. You have no right in interfering. Get over it, or get on with it. If the moods are unrelated to this issue, you need to seek professional advice. GOOD LUCK ! ! !
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (25 August 2006):
I've dated women who "got into moods" over my seeing my ex-wife and my son. I have never touched my ex-wife (nor any desire to) since we divorced more than 5 years ago, so he is probably telling you the truth when he says it is over between them. He has the right to see his daughter. You have no right in interfering. Get over it, or get on with it. If the moods are unrelated to this issue, you need to seek professional advice. GOOD LUCK ! ! !
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A
female
reader, layla +, writes (25 August 2006):
 i think that any women would feel insecure when there partner goes to see there ex. i think that if he doesnt keep in contact with his ex then he may be banned from seeing his child then think how this would effect him. I also think that you need to trust him more and talk to him and say that you are willing to change and you want support because i know this will be hard so good luck i hope this works out for you.
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A
female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (25 August 2006):
 Well there is a big age gap but age is nothing but a number, although i expect you want to do things that he doesn't. Also he has a child with his ex so he has to be in contact with her. You should not be paranoid because he chose you over her so I doubt he will go back to her. You have to stop being so moody! Suggest going away somewhere for the weekend to solve things, somewhere where you are both away from the stress of your everyday lives. Enjoy eachothers company and have a laugh. Try and get to know his child better and include him/her in your lives more this will show your boyfriend you care. I wish you luck
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (25 August 2006):
 Stop being moody! He has a child so will always have contact with his ex and there is NOTHING you can do about that, so get on with it. Let me just throw this out there and see what you think.... you are worried he may get in a situation with his ex where they end up in bed? Why should you trust him if he was with her whilst cheating with you? You were also in a relationship and there may always be a nagging doubt at the back of your minds. You both know you already did it once (at least?) so what's to stop it happening again? If any of this rings true, you'd better sort it out asap or you will never make a go of this relationship. See it for what it is and not how it began. If you love each other, that's your common ground, build on that. You did say that you have lied to him and breaking promises, is this because of guilt? Are you testing him? He's already told you this is not how he wants it, and neither do you, so you have to stop being moody. You say 'for no reason', there's ALWAYS a reason, you just have to work out what it is.
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