A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel insecure and it makes me somewhat shy in my relationship. I can never initiate anything, it's always him that has to ask if we want to go out or him initiating a kiss. I don't want to be like this because i feel somewhat selfish, you know, being a bit a of a taker more than a giver... But I get so scared of rejection, even though i know he's my boyfriend and i should be past that stage... Does this really bother a guy? I've heard countless times that guys like girls with confidence but I just struggle to be that way... Any tips also on how to become more confident would also be helpful.
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female
reader, Basschick +, writes (2 August 2007):
 Depends on the guy. Some guys prefer to be the "agressor" but it never hurts to initiate something once in awhile. Start with something small. Make him dinner, or a special dessert that you know he likes. Offer to take his dog to the groomer for him, or to run an errand for him when he doesn't have the time. Those are also little things you can do every day that show you are not just a taker, but also a giver. You will slowly warm up to the idea of doing little things for him romantically, like holding his hand, or leaning over and kissing him unexpectedly. It just takes practice and if he's receptive, then you'll be less afraid of the rejection.
A
male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 Gotta agree with hlskitten. The only way to help you past this is by, as she put it, "Biting the bullet"
Just keep telling yourself; he's your boyfriend. If there is one person you can hug, kiss or ask out, he's the one. What possible reason could he have not want to recieve a hug or a kiss? As for asking out, maybe that's something you will feel more comfortable in doing after you've tried giving kisses and cuddles. I'm sure the only reason he'd have to reject you is for a good reason, so try to keep that in mind.
Be spontanious! He will love it. Kiss him when he doesn't expect it. A lot of guys love that, myself included.
I hope this was of some help to you
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (2 August 2007):
 Difficult one. I kinda know where you're coming from here. If they make all the moves you know they want to. Wheras if you make the first moves they might not want to & the thought of that is horrible?
Biting the bullet! thats the key i think.
If you 'really' like someone, try to go out of your way to leave your comfort zone & give him a cuddle, or a kiss, off the cuff kinda thing.
It will make him feel brilliant.
Stick to small things like a hug or kiss, then the more you get good feedback for it from him, move onto bigger things.
It builds the trust up & is more fair than letting guys do all the running.
Thats all i can suggest anyway.
Hope it helps.
C xxxxx
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