A
female
age
30-35,
*smith279
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy of about 6 months. Recently, we had some issues with trust and ever since that happened, I feel like he is testing me to see how much I can take and if I will get jealous.He told me tonight I can't ask who he's hanging out with unless it's a mutual friend, otherwise, he won't tell me. He hangs out with lots of girls all the time, usually one on one. He tells me I can trust him so I just have to because he's always been friends with lots of girls.He asked what I would think if he fell asleep at one of these girls' houses, and on their bed next to them. I had to act like it wouldn't bother me at all because I felt like he was testing my jealousy. And if I did the same at a guys house, and something happened, we would break up.He also noticed I had "in a relationship" on my facebook. And told me that if I sent him a request to show that I'm in a relationship with him, he would deny it. He told me before he doesnt want certain people to know he's in a relationship because they would question him too much. But just tonight, he hung out with a girl and tagged her in a post saying "A nice date with ___" but yet won't let me send him a relationship request :(
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facebook, jealous, long distance, teasing Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2012): if u wanna stay happy then flush him out of ur life.. such guys are merely pain in d a**. they take away the confidence of the girl and ruin her . and trust me if ur guy is loyal to u he wil nvr hang out with grls..he wil nvr like others company. if u doubt ny grl then go ahead and inquire abt him. u vl cum to knw evrythng. the way he is treating u shws dat smethg is wrng..
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 July 2012):
 Honey, he's no boyfriend....
he doesn't want folks to know on facebook so he can continue to date them.
I'd beak up with him.
he's dating other women blatantly in front of you...
he has a double standard where you can't ask him anything about his friends but he has total knowledge of yours?
he can sleep at a girls house but you can't sleep at another boy's?
in other words
you sit home waiting for him
he goes out and dates
and you have to take it.
end it with him...
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (7 July 2012):
 Honey I don't see why your going through soo much when the guy is being sucha jacka** to you..you don't deserve this,NO one does..u need to put ur foot down be stern and say we are in a relationship and if certain things about you makes me feel insecure then we have to sort it out or we can go seperate ways..
How can a guy be in a relationship andt ag girls saying a nice date...if I were you I would call him right away and be like' oh well I see you have moved on,good for you so now I can go out on the date I have been saying NO to cuz I thought I was in a relationship!!!'...
MOVE ON don't stick to this guy,ur goin to get nothing but pain..!gluck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2012): A boyfriend that wants it to work wouldnt do or say those things trust issues or not. Its only going to get worse and i would leave before it does. It sounds like he wants his single like and u on the side and lord knows how many girls hes told the exact same thing as you. Dump him and find someone better and then post them all over facebook. Show him what he lost. Theres no harm in making a guy feel stupid for what hes lost. Its kind of a swift kick in the arse. Take this from someone who has been in enough bad relationships to understand.
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A
female
reader, SaraB  +, writes (7 July 2012):
Umm - there is no relationship - he is a player and he is playing you. I am so sorry that this is happening as it is so completely demoralising and hurtful and just downright wrong. Put your status to 'single' and stop letting him run/ruin your emotional life.
If he isn't seeing these girls then he is cruel lying about it; if he IS seeing these girls then he is scum, 110%.
If you are having a sexual relationship with him I would suggest you leave him, block all lines of communication and have yourself tested for all STI's as soon as possible (obviously you have to wait up to 3 months for some of the tests to be accurate). Love yourself and move on to someone who loves and respects you enough not to play with your feelings and your health.
X
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 July 2012):
 Your "boyfriend" isn't your boyfriend. He doesn't want other girls to know he's taken, because he still wants to flirt with them and fool around. He doesn't want you to know who these girls are because: well, they're NOT "just friends". They are more. If things were innocent he wouldn't have a problem telling you.
Trust issues need to be taken seriously. They wont go away just because you pretend to be cool about something you aren't at all comfortable with. Trust issues need BOTH partners to work on them. If your jealousy is founded in insecurities then your man should help you get over this by supporting you, not TEASING you and testing you! And you should also be honest and open about what bothers you and why.
But, if your jealousy is founded in a real reason to be jealous, which I think is the case with his secrecy, then you need to ask yourself if this is acceptable or not. I don't think it's acceptable that he hides you from his "friends" and says that he goes out on dates, that he sleeps over at his "friends" houses and refuses to even tell you who they are. He's not asking you to trust him! He's asking you to turn a blind eye to him cheating.
Break up with this player and find yourself a real man.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2012): You deserve better than this guy, what are you possibly getting out of this relationship? He sounds like a manipulative, lying and cheating scum bag. It is not one rule for one and one rule for another in relationships, if he feels the relationship would be over if you slept next to a guy but he is allowed to sleep next to women (I very much doubt that is all he is doing) then that would be one reason to start thinking "this guy is a d***" but then he openly says "i will deny a relationship with you"!!! I am stunned you want to be with him as there is so much better out there.
Please respect yourself enough to know you deserve more than this. A guy should be jumping at the chance to say he is in a relationship if he genuinely has feelings for you. If I were you I would be telling him to sleep next to as many girls as he likes but you won't be one of them.
Best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2012): I would try to leave him if i were you. I would also embaress him by cutting the conversation short when he started his childish talk,to show him how silly he.s being. He is obviously very insecure,and his behaviour is hurtful and cruel towards you. Teach him a lesson by ignoring his calls and txts for two weeks,or even better, dissapear. For good. You can do better. He.s a plank. X
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