A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a very dark place. I feel immense loneliness, empty feelings no matter who I'm with. I'm threatened by evrything. Mainly people preferring other people to me cause my personality is shit even though pple reassure that its not I feel it deep inside.My boyfriend is addicted to weed, so am I but have given up. He is paranoid. So am I. We row a lot and the entire relationship is a rollercoaster but I can't seem to let go. Some cause of attachment and strong feelings. Others cause of him feeling like my life line to stop loneliness of being completely alone. I can't describe the overwhelming feelings.Everyone says he doesn't respect me and certainly I have disrespected him too.I lost my job in dec. For months I went through a bullying situation at work from my manager and colleagues. They tried to get me out, tried to say I wasn't competent at the job. During this time my boyfriend kept going home to his parents after rows, talking like we were gonna break up and I had bad anxiety. The year before that I was working for someone very high up and his wife wrked same dept and she was threatened by me working for her husband. Long story short - I ended up having to take bullying and harrasment case. I lost, got moved to new dept and got moved to the one mentioned above. Only thing was it was for people who knew the same pple who I worked for before.I have been given money as a payoff as this company didn't have a leg to stand on to fire me.Now I'm currently looking for a job. I'm feeling so lost. My boyfirned can't cope with my black moods I snapped at him earlier this week + caused a row and he said he can't cope with my problemsMy mum is lovely, my sister has always competed and there is jealosy. But we do talk and hang out.I had 9 mnths of cbt and it didn't wrk cause I had a crush on him and kept it to myself so wasn't able to be completely honest at how much of a sad case I am.I am in such a low state.. I was out with a close friend and was actually jealos she was not paying me enough attention. Its drowning me this empty insecure feeling. I used to get tons of attention off men but now I feel I look knackered and old.I don't knwo what to do wth myself. I feel like the whole world is against me.
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male
reader, honestman  +, writes (17 February 2012):
Did you know that weed usage causes paranoia?http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/01/chem-lab-the-sc/What you might be feelings, are the side effects of cannabis. You need to go cold turkey in order to start feeling better.Also, you need to dump your boyfriend, because if you want to quit smoking, and he does not, you'll probably relapse. You have to take control of your life NOW if you want to feel better in the long term.You are still young enough to restart your life. You just need to quit weed once and for all.Don't be afraid of being lonely, you'll probably find a good man what doesn't use drugs and that will be interested on you. You will also be able to get a job, mostly because you'll be clean of drugs on your system.Life is possible without cannabis, you just need to do what it takes. You'll feel better, and live better, and have better opportunities. It is your choice, and it possible with your means. If you want to feel better, I'm a person that is NOT against you. I'm on your side, and I really hope you can overcome your problems. Best wishes!
A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (29 January 2012):
 LOL This is the funniest thing I've ever heard. But on a serious note, you need to stop smoking weed and see a Doctor. I know how it feels being old and knackered. It sux. But it's better than being young and immature.
The whole world is not against you personally. It's against EVERYONE !! Remember that.
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A
female
reader, Latti +, writes (29 January 2012):
Don't give up...your worth fighting for! I know you can't see it now, but your life can be a whole lot better, but you have to muster up the courage to make the changes! I'm on your side, but I must give it to you straight: Most pot heads, don't think anyone one else knows they are pot heads...but we do. Which in turn...makes ppl....for instance, those at your job...lose respect for you...because they can see that u don't have respect for yourself. Your paranoia makes you think that everyone is "Out to get you" or "Jealous" of you, when that's not the case. A pot head can't see the part they play...like...you really ARE NOT doing a good job...because your a pot head...now everyone is talking about you & you feel that everyone is just doing you wrong. Nope...its you!
Your boyfriend, will continue disrespecting you because...you let him. The relationship is dysfunctional & verbally abusive & the bottom line
is....IT HAS NO SUCCESSFULL FUTURE.
I am sorry if I am harsh....but your in a "Woe Is Me" pitty party & you can't stay there. I pray that my candidness of truth will help to wake you up & "Change Your Position" in life. We are around the same age & I understand some of your issues, but blaming everyone else will not solve your problems.
WAKE UP & take off your mask! You are beautiful....& you have to see it first. Your worth fighting for.
Give up the weed (for real), dump the loser, find yourself a good church, start working out & working on you. Your self esteem, image,
insecurities. Its some ppl....you probaly need to apologize to. Take control over your life & stop giving control to others. Love You...GOD does.
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