A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:MOD NOTE: TWO QUESTIONS FROM SAME ASKER COMBINEDQuestion ONE:Okay, so I’ll be honest, I am desperate for advice because this is really my only way to get help. I’ve talked to my friends about it and they all are close-minded about it so I decided I needed someone unbiased. About 6 months ago I started dating to this guy, we’ll call him Tyler. We are exclusive, but we sometimes go off and on with our relationship: being really close for a while then having fights. We have a lot of arguments, but I’m sure of one thing, I’m in love with him. The arguments were never too serious in the beginning but about 2 months ago he started pressuring me to have sex. I am a virgin, and it’s not that I’m scared or that I don’t love him, I’m just not ready for that yet. I tell him every time he asks but he just gets so angry. When I talk to my friends about this they either say I should just give in and have sex with him, or that I should break up with him altogether. But to me, neither of them are options because they both would go against what I want. Also, I think me saying no led to him just wanting it more and more and now every time we hang out he just wants to stay inside and do things leading up to sex. We barely go out anymore. We still talk a lot and I tell him how I feel but he isn’t changing. Most of my friends are just saying to get rid of him altogether but they don’t understand that I really do love him. Right now I just can’t decide if it’s even worth it though, even when I love him. Maybe there’s even something you suggest me doing differently. I don’t know. That’s hopefully where you guys come in. I’m sorry that I probably put you guys to sleep with my sob story but I really would appreciate any sort of input. Please xoxoxoQUESTION TWO:First, I would like to clarify that I think this says I’m 13-15 but I’m actually 16. Long story short, I like one of my good friends, but I might be stuck in the friend-zone. He is one of my best guy friends, and I see him every single day because we do the same programs at school. On Saturdays we both volunteer all day together. I’m with him constantly. He might be the funniest person I know, and he is really cute. I could go on all day on why I like him, but the real question is how to know what is going to happen with us. I don’t really have good luck with guys, so I think he might be the first one that would be good for me. When we’re together, he acts like I’m his favorite person in the world. But I also see him act super friendly to almost everyone else too. Although, maybe it’s in my head but I feel like he acts different with me. I’m not sure. He’s somewhat shy when it comes to being with girls in a non-platonic way, so I don’t know how to approach this. But I feel like he likes me too and I think this could go somewhere, I just don’t know how to figure that out for sure. I can't stand being in the friend-zone. Any tips would be much appreciated! XOXOXO
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (29 January 2012):
 Q1.
You may love Tyler but does he love you?? A guy who actually loves you doesn't pressure you into having sex with him. He RESPECTS your decision to wait.
Let's be honest here, Tyler is nothing but a horny teenage boy who wants sex. He isn't going to change into this wonderful chatty, loving boyfriend who likes to go out and do fun stuff. This kid is going to keep on being persistent about getting into your pants!!
Your only options in this situation are to either have sex with him (I don't advise this) or to dump him. There is NO third option.
Actually your friends aren't close minded, they're just telling you what your LIMITED options are. Listen to the ones who say you should dump Tyler.
Q2. Wait a minute, you love Tyler but you like another guy??
First, get rid of Tyler. No guy is going to remove you from the friend zone when you're already attached.
You're going to have to start hanging out with him outside of school more often. Preferably in the evening time, with no other friends around. Get to know him more on a personal level, then take it from there. Flirt, touch his arm, tell him how cute his hair looks, etc.
Lastly if he's a shy guy, then you're going to have to be forward with him and tell him you're interested in dating him. Shy guys rarely make the first move on girls. If you want to be more then you're going to have to do the leg work.
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